Whispers of A Fading Heart

Who Am I?

Various influences cloud our judgment - hatred, ignorance, selfishness, lust, greed - yet, none compare to the grip of love.

I have read a lot books on love, books that spoke of love's enchanting embrace, the warmth that melts you, just like hot chocolate fudge does in your mouth, the assurance of safety, and, above all, the blanket of happiness it engulfs you in.

Even if my judgment was biased, nothing tainted it more than what I term as attachment.

Though he holds no significance for me now, there was a time when he did.

I romanticized what he could have done or what he could have said when in reality it was easier to turn a blind eye to what he didn't do and what he didn't say when he clearly could have.

I gave him innumerable chances, even beyond the benefit of doubt, navigating a sinking ship that I knew would never set sail and yet, I find myself buried deep in the rubble.

While learning how to forget him, I forgot how to feel...

I forgot to give myself time and forgot to let myself heal.

Even if he means nothing to me now it doesnt change the fact that I lost someone special to me.

So, who am I?

Amaia, a girl who was once brimming with love and joy.

A girl who once yearned to live.

But, most importantly,

I am Amaia, a girl who contemplates ending it all.