Harmless

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EVA POV

I paced the one stall employee bathroom after freshening up my makeup and felt anxiety spike in my body. The navy blue jumpsuit I chose for today fits my curves well and I smoothed my ponytail while staring in the mirror.

Jay will be here at 4... which is in about 15 minutes.

We had a relaxing day yesterday.  The pressure from my parents first visit had dissipated so after our intense conversation first thing it was easy to unwind.  Jay and I each had work to do but grabbed our laptops then set up shop in the living room so we could binge watch Food Network.  After having bagels with smoked salmon for breakfast we polished off some leftovers around 2 then ordered takeout Chinese food for dinner.

I've never eaten as much takeout in my life as I have since marrying Jay.  My Mother had a chef that took care of our meals and made sure I was eating the right amount of calories to keep me slim.  The massive amount of caffeine and unending pressure to succeed were enough to stop me from overeating, but my parents would never listen to my opinion.

Jay promised to take care of me and truly is a man of his word.  Sara makes sure we have plenty of groceries as well as meals prepared but if he wants to get our meal delivered I won't complain.  My husband is now well versed on what to look for so I am not exposed to allergens.  At this point I trust his judgment more than my own.

He apologized for not being more attentive but I did my best to reassure him.  I have no idea how much more Jay expected himself to offer, but as long as we are able to connect every day I am satisfied.  If he wants to spend more time with me then I will absolutely accept.  The pressure he puts on himself is intense.  Now that we've opened up more about our expectations I will more easily be able to show my husband how much I appreciate him.

Monday started with a bang since we had a middle school class ready at 8 for a tour.  They recently finished lessons about the Titanic and were carrying notebooks with questions for me, as well.  Our new exhibit is ready for the public so they were the first guests getting a peek at what we have arranged.  I had my fair share of ridiculous questions about whether Jack and Rose actually existed but for the most part it went smoothly.

Now, though...

I set up a private tour of the museum with myself as a guide when I arrived today.  Jay is serious about giving us a new beginning so I want to do the same.

He is right.  My Father may have arranged our marriage with some deception, but we deserve a chance. To be fair, if I had met him randomly or even connected on his visit the day before our wedding everything would have been different. I would have been more open and excited, even though we were still strangers.

I would have known he is harmless.   A man that I can trust immediately. The initial attraction was just one part of our connection.  Jay showed he has a sense of humor as well as ability to fully focus when we are together.  Work keeps him extremely busy but we make the best of even our short commutes each day.

When we planned our meeting today I mentioned skipping Sushi for lunch just this once.  Jay begrudgingly agreed as long as we go out for dinner as a compromise.  He has gotten used to our Monday lunches which is even more proof our marriage will work.

As much as Jay feels like I was doing all the work, that is absolutely not true.

After a few deep breaths I made sure my inhaler was in my fanny pack and made my way to the entrance of the museum.  I chose to wear a gold pair of heels today that Jay complimented a week or so ago.  He is always so encouraging which just motivates me to choose outfits I know will be appreciated.