MY DOMINEERING CEO

chapter 8

 I lay on my bed just staring at the ceiling,the feeling of being in pain and just being numb is all that I am feeling at the same time which  is weird .

I can feel the pain but I am too numb to do anything about it ,the words in my head repeat over and over like a broken record .

You are stupid 

Worthless

Just go die already

I sit up straight feeling suddenly overwhelmed which is weird because I thought I was used to the voices by now but I feel dizzy ,the urge to pick up the  nearest  blade overwhelms me .

I look at my lower drawer where I hid a blade from my aunt who has searched and confiscated all sharp objects in my room .

I try to take deep breaths to calm myself from rushing to pick it  and cutting myself again.

The last time I couldn't control myself Jacob found me in the bathroom in a pool of blood .

The image of his horrified face comes into view in  my mind.I hold up my knees in my hand remembering how he looked terrified, screaming for help and telling me why I did it. He looked like was about to pass out  and I felt so guilty.

Aunt Elisa walked in and screamed to call 911 while she tried to calm down my baby brother who started crying too because of the chaos .I shook away the thoughts ,glad that he didn't question me after that saying I should talk when I was ready .

I think about how nice and supportive he has been ever since we started dating while I grew distant after a few months , though he has been a bit odd for a few weeks but he is always there for me .

I feel bad because I know deep down I might not be right for him ,he is popular among the girls and I know most girl still glare me when we walk down the halls together,he is handsome,smart , athletic,in the football team and wealthy while am not that pretty ,insecure , unromantic, moody unlike his type.

He should have really been with someone that compliments him ,like Julia. She is beautiful,smart ,caring ,funny ,cute  and not trying to do stupid things like me .

I pause my annoying thoughts ,standing up to look at the mirror at my plain self,I think about  the confession julia made about her feelings for Jacob  that she has kept hidden for a long time without telling anyone except me recently ,I feel bad because I know it secretly hurts her to see us together but she says she over it which I don't believe .

I see my phone light up from the corner of my eyes ,I walk over and pick it up .It is a message from Jacob which makes me uneasy. After that incident I was even more distant than before even when we went shopping for our graduation dresses.

I opened it to read when my phone started to ring ,it was Dr Sofia and I felt a bit drop in my stomach.

"Hello Cari dear am glad you picked up the call"

"How are you doing, dear "she says through the phone. I feel like telling her that I felt like shit but I felt a lump in my throat that made it difficult to talk.

"Am fine "I manage to stutter out hoping she will leave the matter and the call would end sooner  but she still continues. 

"Ok so I think I have finally found the perfect thing for you ,I need your aunt to come pick it up "she says and I feel a little bit relieved .

"Can I come instead? I need to talk to you? '' I ask in a small voice.If I was going to survive tomorrow's graduation without snapping at anyone I need to see her .

"Sure dear am available right now you can come over "she says and i thank her and hang up .

I put my phone in my bag and get dressed in a black hoodie and gray sweatpants ,u rush 9ut of my room hoping to get there on time cause she really has a busy schedule 

                   _____~•~_____

"Carina Dawson"I stood up with a smile ,Walking over to collect  my certificate with a smile on my face that wasn't fake like all my other smiles.

I look everywhere for my family and a wave of pain hits me. Mom said she would shake her ass so hard at my graduation,but now she isn't here .

"Ooouuu that is my baby girl right there " my aunt Elisa shouts from the crowd shouting and shaking her ass in front of all the parents .

My classmates laughed and cheered her on. Some women looked irritated and some men looked lustful. All in all it was a sight that made me laugh .

"We have finally graduated,"Stacy shouts  while I laugh while dancing to music .

"Hey is that Mr Paul ,yo Paul ain't you going to miss us man "Michael says pointing at our teacher ,they run off to jump will I laugh .

"Hey Cari " Jacob says holding my hand  stopping me from joining the others 

"We need to talk ,I am so sorry about the texts they were uncalled for and that's not how I wanted to tell you "he says anxiously while I look at him confused ,I  think about his text message that he sent that I have not read .

"I hope this doesn't change anything but I need to do something really important ,I haven't been the best boyfriend but I hope you forgive me "he says holding my hands .I hold his face and stroke his cheek.

"You shouldn't be sorry ,you have been a great boyfriend so don't say stuff like that now go and do what you got to do "I say and push laughing he looks relieved and walks to the front with a mic in hand which I don't know where he got it from .

"I want to say something important about a girl I love so much that has made me feel so great and loved and is the best girl in the world and like she always says tries to be a sunshine to people live "

"I really love you and you are the sunshine in my life  "he says and I feel myself blush. I look at Julia with tears in her eyes.

But I never say am a sunshine ,a pit forms in my stomach as he walks in my direction but passes me and kisses the girl behind me 

Julia

 hey guys new chapter here

And yeah things are getting bad how do you guys think you will feel if you were Carina

Pls vote comment and share will love it

Well this is the first time I am posting two chapter in the same week and I deserve and I applaud*claps for myself*

I am going to try to do this more often so don't miss out on the next chapter

Love you all

Dani