WITHOUT YOU

going going gone

                                              S9E1

Dying changes everything, there's the emotional fallout, sure. But there's also the practical stuff. Who's going to do your job? Who's going to take care of your family? The only good thing for you is, you don't have to worry about it. People you never knew will be living in your house, working your job, The world just keeps on going...
Without you.

                                           {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}

Cordelia took a turn into the patient's room, positioning herself discreetly behind the group of interns in an attempt to go unnoticed by the short woman at the bedside. Unfortunately, her plan failing miserably.

After the death of her older sister, Cordelia had considered starting her internship at a different hospital, but Meredith was one of the main reasons she stayed. Meredith had insisted on Cordelia remaining at this hospital, encouraging her to finish her internship and suggesting that she could explore other opportunities at a later time.

Today was Cordelia's first day as an intern. Her class had started a month ago, but she needed time – time to grieve. "Ah, who are you, and why are you late?" Dr. Bailey hissed at her, causing the entire group to pivot their attention toward her.

"Uh- Grey, Cordelia Grey. I'm sorry. I couldn't find you" the girl mumbled. Dr. Bailey's demeanour softened upon hearing her name. She simply nodded and redirected her focus to the interns, waiting for a response to her previous question. "Really? Are you telling me not one of you knows th-"

"Hungry bone syndrome, where calcium and phosphorus are rapidly deposited into the bone" a man who wasn't wearing scrubs interrupted as he strolled in through the door.

Dr. Bailey looked up at him in surprise. "You're not supposed to be here."

"Got a last-minute flight. Couldn't pass it up"

"You're not on call tonight?" she pressed.

"Not anymore. I switched shifts" he replied with a chuckle.

{.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}

"I'm screwed. As long as Medusa's my attending, I will never see the inside of an OR" Jo continued between bites of her chips. Cordelia had joined them for lunch but remained mostly silent, unsure of what to say and also wondering who this 'Medusa' was.

"Unless you're the patient"

"Don't be alarmed, but Medusa's walking over here" Heather warned Jo, who sat up straight in her seat.

"Depending on her mood, I may have to pretend I don't know you" Stephanie said.

Meredith approached the group. Cordelia furrowed her brows in confusion, Meredith was Medusa? "Good afternoon, everyone. As you all probably know, we have a tradition here. The honour of performing your first surgery is reserved for the intern who shows the most promise... Dr. Wilson" Jo coughed choking on her drink.

"Congratulations, you're scrubbing in" Meredith declared before leaving, exchanging a soft smile with Cordelia.

"You've got soda coming out your nose" Stephanie handed Jo a napkin.

{.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}

"There's no way she pulls this off" Shane commented, looking down at Jo.

"She might, as long as she doesn't look up at Medusa during the surgery" Cordelia stayed quiet as she rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, that face will calcify her"

"Do you think Medusa's always been Medusa?" Leah asked, tilting her head.

"Probably. I heard her mom was even worse"

"Yeah, but that doesn't give her an excuse to act like a demon from the depths of hell itself" Heather spoke, making the interns laugh.

"Will you guys shut up?" Cordelia spoke for the first time that day, her voice betraying her sorrow, causing the group to shift awkwardly in their seats. Meredith glared at them.

"It's like she can hear us"

Dr. Hunt entered the room. "Yeah, that little red light...means the intercom is on" he remarked, as the interns all shared the same guilty look.

"Next, I...pull up on the purse strings and invert the stump into the cecum" Jo attempted, inadvertently ripping the cecum.

"Okay, you've ripped the cecum wide open. What's next?"

"Wilson, you have to think quickly. Come on. What's next? Think" Cordelia anxiously bit her lower lip while observing Jo's silence.

"Go in and grab your purse strings. BP is dropping. Your patient is in trouble" Meredith directed before shoving Jo out of the way.

"Okay, move. Clamp"

{.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}

Cordelia watched through the window as Dr. Webber turned off Mark's ventilator, wiping away a tear that had escaped her eye when she caught a glimpse of Meredith passing by.

"Meredith" Cordelia turned to her, waiting for a response.

"Cordelia..." Meredith walked over, examining her face. She opened her arms, and the smaller girl gratefully accepted her hug, finding comfort in the embrace as they both grieved the loss of their sister.

                                           {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}

They say death is hardest on the living. It's tough to actually say goodbye. Sometimes it's impossible. You never really stop feeling the loss. It's what makes things so bittersweet. We leave little bits of ourselves behind... Little reminders...A lifetime of memories, photos, trinkets... Things to remember us by even when we're gone.

                                           {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.}

verafarmigfs i've been writing this for 6 months no joke