but it happend. I didn't really realize how or when. It feels like it simply happend.
The day I found you, was the beginning of an unexpected journey. It lead me towards a way, I never thought I would go.
The day I promised you to not fall in love with you was not a lie. I didn't wanted to, actually I was sick and tired. I felt exhausting. But it somehow happend. We agreed to not fall for each other for so many several reasons and I will never ever forget this conversation.
I'm sorry I could't I couldn't keep it. I fall for you.
Slowly. Passionated.
With every day I kept smiling a little bit brighter. Checking my phone in the morning, hoping to see your name on my screen. Step by step I started to think about you more and more.
I didn't realized what was happening. I just felt this charming excitment in my belly as soon as I for real read your name.
D...
Should I reply right now? No, I should wait. Don't show up that needy. Don't get on his nerves.
I still replyed. I wanted to talk to you because even one littkle talk made my day so much warmer. You made me smile, even if I wanted to cry.
Faster then i realizes I was looking out for you over and over again up to the point where I first started to feel this weird feeling in my stomache....
Friends.... Friends... you keep them on this level. You said, they friendzoned you and maybe it is because I can't understand them I want to trust you. I want it so bad but I can't stop thimkimg about the "what if..?" part of this story.
I never wanted you to know that I'm carrying this feelings. I wanted to figure it out all by myself, mostly because I know that I have no right to feel like this. Dump thing that you caught me. How embarrassing....
I'm afraid that you'll never open up to me again because of this stupid thing. You made jokes, called me Queen of Jealous, but you'll never understand how fucking confusing this feelings are to me. I don't understand sthem and I definitly never wanted you to know about these...
But at the end of the day, I just want to see you bloom, reaching your dreams. I want to see you happy and succesful. I know you can do this, I always knew it and I want to see ypu realize it by your own. I want to see you moving to your final destination, becomming fluent in the language there, meeting your significant other, getting married and becomming the best Dad. I want you to be loved how you deserve it.
I hope you'll find someone who makes you feel home, someone who can take all the stress from you with a simple hug. I wish, you can see their true and deep love for you just by looking in their eyes and I wish they can make you the happiest person on this world because you fucking deserve it.
When you come home from work and feel exhausted, I hope you can look at the person you married. You'll feel better by just being around them. You leave your shoes and jacket, walk up to them and their eyes start shining by seeing you. They'll walk to you, reach out for a deep and meaningful hug and you'll feel home. You'll forget about all the stuff that happend at work and you'll just feeling home.
I hope your heart falls in love too hard for one last time and safely lands into hands that offer all the love in the world.
I know that I have to let you go one day. I know that I won't be there and see you reaching all of that but I still know that there is a future full of love and happiness for you.
And I will never forget about this lovely Men from South Korea who teached a simple women from Germany that loving hard is one of the most powerful and beautiful feelings a human being can feel.
Without knowing it, this guys showed her that the feeling of loving someone is worth all the pain it can come with .
She will carry him in her heart till she dies <3
Love, J.
ВЫ ЧИТАЕТЕ
Diary of a Heartbroken
ПоэзияI never knew if we were meant to be. I never truely understood what it means to be in love with someone. The only thing I knew is, that it was the most wonderful thing that happend to me. My very own little therapy place to deal with my feelings for...
