Yourself

The Watchtower

Leda lay restless in her bed, the room cloaked in shadows as the moon cast a soft glow through her window. The haunting images of her childhood friend's face, etched with the burdens of war, replayed in her mind like a relentless film reel. She kept on thinking about the distress she saw in his face, as if of the person she once knew only the shell came back home, the boy he had been completely vanished, his somehow kind gaze completely gone. His eyes, windows to a soul marked by the invisible scars, had stirred a cascade of emotions within Leda.
In the cobblestone alleys of their youth, they frolicked carelessly under the sun's gentle embrace. But now, she couldn't shake off the gnawing worry for  the man he had become. She rose from her bed several times, drawn to the window as if the darkness outside held answers.

Each time she peered in the direction of his house, the echoes of all the time they called each other at night, back when they were just kids, still ringed in her ears, in the darkest silence of the night she could almost make out the sound of his voice, his once innocent laugh lingering in her memories as she tried to let the sleep slowly taking her, while in her mind the scenes of her childhood kept replaying on repeat, revealing the secrets the once shared right under the same blankets she was lying now.

Nothing but memories of an innocence far too gone.

The next day, just as agreed, at noon - Reiner approached Leda's house. He lingered at the porch, as if he didn't dare to knock.

Why did I even decide she actually wants to see me? - he thought to himself while standing at her porch. The way how rather cold and awkward was his meeting with his family, actually discouraged Reiner a lot - his family obviously didn't know how to behave around him - for people he basically just disappeared for 5 years without a single notice from him, so he couldn't blame him. But exactly for that reason, he wasn't sure Leda actually needed him to be included in her life either. Yesterday's awkward talk only showed that even having a simple little talk became a challenge. Who are they even for each other now? Not strangers definitely, they used to be childhood friends. But not friends either - Reiner just disappeared from her life for the whole teenage years, pretty long term. Acquaintances? They are way too close for simple acquaintances. So, of course this kind of unclearness would drive anyone crazy. And the last thing Reiner wanted, after already having immense guilt in his heart, is to make someone uncomfortable.

It would be impolite to just leave now - he thought to himself. He didn't want to be a trouble for anyone and didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. And surely not Leda's. He decided that maybe she wouldn't want to meet him more anyway, but for this time...

Reiner fisted his hand and knocked on the door, remaining waiting at the porch for someone to open.

"Coming!"

Leda chimed rushing down the stairs to open the front door. Reiner could hear her footsteps getting closer and a dull sound of something falling on the ground, not far away from where he was standing.

From the other side of the door Leda mustered something, before finally reaching for the doorknob and opening it.

She welcomed him with a bashful smile painted on her lips, her hair still damp and an apologetic expression on her face.

"It's already noon? Oh god, sorry I lost track of time...awful night, y'know."

She motioned him to enter, carefully avoiding his gaze and sweeping away with her foot a small pile of books messily scattered on the floor.

"You want something to drink?"

Leda asked closing the door and without waiting for him to answer, she was heading towards the kitchen with a quick pace, her bare feet barely making any sound. That peculiar way of walking she had, didn't change during the years; when they were kids she frequently pranked Reiner and Berthold just randomly appearing, apparently from nowhere, behind their backs... Those were simpler times for sure.