The Regretevator writing dump / oneshots (regretefic)

Drunk (Partybeetle)

Pest tapped his feet in the elevator, scoffing at the other npc's chittering in the background. God they were so loud, thankfully the elevator finally cranked open to another stupid for them to go explore and maybe die in. He planned to stay back until he saw a familiar yellow noob with a  party hat stumble into the elevator.

Oh great.

Poob.

He scoffed and kept his head low, expecting a loud obnoxious greeting by the bright fellow, but surprisingly, poob didn't say anything, they just let out a low hiccup, pest furrowed his eyebrows and turned to poob...were they always this slouchy?

Poob let out another hiccup, pest chittered and walked towards them, poking thier shoulder gently. Poob immediately cracked thier head to pest and gave a large smile, his eyes drooped 

"HAII hic. Ppest ." They immediately went into for a hug, although it was much weaker than usual.

Pest scoffed and lightly shoved them away "hey.." he observed the still poob for a moment, he squinted his eyes, noticing an overarching problem "are you...drunk?"

"Whaaaattt? No?.....maeybe hic." They let out a giggle and leaned onto pest, putting a hand on his shoulder "partying hic hard aint eazy pestie.....hic"

Pest could've shoved them away but instead just gently propped them up, seemingly concerned, although deciding not to show it. Poob NEVER got drunk, at least, in front of pest. were they always like this? 

Pest could only wonder, but for now, he needed to get poob to thier home...as much as he hated them, seeing them in this state, especially with the crowds of players around, made him feel a twinge of something, 

something that's telling him to keep poob away and safe....worry...pest shivered at the pathetic feeling and just kept an arm around poob 

"ばか...let's get you home."

"nnnOOOO" poob suddenly clung into pests shirt "I wann go wiz hic YOUUU" they leaned to his face

Pest immediately went red from the sudden clinginess and closeness of poob, he shoved them away, trying to keep his composure. They're drunk. They're drunk. Don't do anything irrational. "Whatever...I don't even have a place..perhaps I can just stay with you.." he coughed out, poob just blinked and almost fell, pest held them by the back of his collar.

As the elevator fluctuated in people, pest kept poob close, and maybe hidden, a lot of people didn't seem to care, maybe most of them would exclaim how weird pest was acting, but generally no one batted an eye, which was good. Well, except for the two people trying to spray poob, he took care of them though.

"Hic...wherez the partee?" They looked up at pest 

"You'll get it to it soon."

"Hic....Wann join?"

"..."he kept quiet

"..u know pest..u r weird.." they hiccuped out "sooooo weird...hehe....funny little..horns and hic fangs,," poob tried touching his mandibles before pest swatted thier hands away

"Antlers and mandibles. And second. Don't touch."

"But pesssttt" they whined

"No."

Poob almost made a tantrum before hiccuping and feeling something come up their throat, they stood still as their chest felt funny.

"...poob?" Pest saw their sudden change in demeanor and guessed he'd probably throw up, and they did...right at his boots, pest exclaimed in disgust before sighing and pinching his temple 

"素晴らしい..." 

But poob kept throwing up, groaning for their body to stop as the disgusting bits of cake and acid got mixed with tears and snot, pest just rubbed his back and made sure no one entered looking, chittering softly, perhaps to comfort poob? He didn't know...and for a moment, pest felt pity for poob, but of course, he shook it away.

And finally, As the elevator made its final exit to poob's apartment, with no one in sight, pest sighed as the nightmare can finally be over, he wrapped an arm around poob and dragged them to their room, plopping them onto their bed 

"待って..ok?"

Poob, despite not understanding what pest said, just nodded their dizzy head and stayed still on the bed as pest went to his kitchen to get them a cup of water.

poobs place seemed nice, it was definitely decorated in party attire, which didn't surprise pest, and some shiny things he could snatch, but for the sake of poob he decided not to...ok so maybe snatched a coin but that didn't matter, he brought the glass to poobs room, seeing them zone out, he let out a snap with thier fingers, and as poob jolted up, pest shoved the glass to thier face, chittering

"Sip.."

Poob took it and slowly drank the water, it mostly got rid of their annoying hiccup, thank god, but definitely not their demeanor 

"Thankkk you..." poob smiled and wearily placed the glass as their body collapsed onto the bed, pest stayed and sat next to them.

"Hic....where's the partiee?" they tiredly exclaimed and tried getting themselves to sit up, but pest held them down. 

"No party. For now you must sleep."

"But..."

"No buts.."

They whined and flailed their body around, complaining loudly, pest got irritated, he could've just snatched them by the shoulders and yelled at them, but again, nothing irrational, so he just hugged poob tightly.

That seemed to work.

...Work a little too well, because now poob was silent and limp, except for their hands that 'd brush up against pest's hair, sending a little jolt up their spine..

"Fluufffyyyy...." Poob exclaimed as they buried their head in pest's chest

Pest felt his face go warm and his mandibles chitter, god he hated that feeling, that feeling of having a million butterflies frantically fly in his stomach, he felt sick...in a good way..

Was he getting flustered?

No. 

No.

Poob was drunk, they probably didn't mean it in the slightest.

Pest just exhaled loudly "何でも..." he kept poob close as they snuggled into him, earning a small purr from pest, he had to admit, this was a little good..

"Pest.."

"?"

"I loaf you" they reached out and kissed him on the cheeks, before passing out.

Pest immediately turned beetroot red, that flustering feeling racking up, he shivered a little before grumbling under his breath...and purring.

He eventually sighed and leaned in to kiss the unconscious bastard he hated on the cheek, it was tender.. he wouldn't even remember any of this so why bother...

"...love ya too..."