SAFAR E ISHQ

12 ~Aab-e-mohabbat

Nadira

'dilkashi'

Attraction,apeal,beauty,loveliness,
Charm

The perfect word to describe what I'm feeling right now

like a tulip blossoming into its best form by the warm touch of that special someone

Why did he make me feel this way when I'd swore to myself I'd never feel that way for anyone again

I'd never let my guard down infront of any man no matter there intentions with me

So why am I so calm when I'm near him and why do I trust him so easily why do I feel so safe in your kingdom,your castle,room and when I'm so close to you

Like you'd take me in your embrace if i even breath while holding eye contact with your beautiful brown eyes

Maybe I'm falling in love again
And I had told myself never again,
But I let myself slip again
His oak brown eyes make it impossible to refrain,
And I'm falling in love again

But why so easily when I just met him ,i don't even know what he likes to eat what his hobbies are or if he even want's me here

Why do I wear my heart on my sleeve, giving it away to someone I just met Just because he smiled at me

Am I really that desperate

Or maybe it's just attraction, it cannot be love it's not possible that I can love someone again after him

Right

It's just a silly crush I'm sure it'll go away when I actually get to know him

Men are just the same

"Nadira?"

Suddenly he said letting the book leave his hands he came closer to me and bent on his knees to reach for my eyes

"Are you alright" he said with worry coating his eyes like he actually cared

Yaah rabb

Why does his words always melt me

Indeed I'm very weak

I cannot even except that good men exist because one tainted me with bad memories

I'm so selfish to even think about him like this, I do not deserve him

I looked into his oak brown eyes gazing into mine with worry

My knuckles turned white knowing i once looked into someone's eyes with the same warmth the same worry and the same love as him right now but all I got in return was a scar on my dignity and shame that's never gonna leave my heart until the day I'm all cold without a single movement in my body

My heart sank deeper knowing I'd hurt him unknowingly, I'm a tornado right now I'll catch him in my pain if I try to go a little closer

My eyes turned teary and my lashes felt heavy with the weight of all the sins I'd committed

I'm not a Pious woman, I'm burdened with the weight of my sins

Regret and guilt eat me alive at times, wishing so much i could undo my crimes

But there is no undoing that can possibly be done to my own doing

I'm the one who committed to acts of sin and no one is responsible for that

I'm only scared of the day when it's the end of Times

When my days will come to an end
And all will know my sins, my crimes