Stranded in Love

Chapter Seventeen

- Derick's POV -

What the fuck. What. The. Fuck.

On the surface and internally, I'd like to believe I'm a level headed, calm, cool, and collected individual, but the severity of the situation that Ella and I had found ourselves in was weighing heavy over my head, and disrupting my flow.

Ella was looking into the direction of the islands that were growing further in distance. I refused to be mad at Ella, but I wanted to be. This was her idea, but I also supported the decision we made. The raft bobbled back and forth as the waves rocked us. Her head was still turned towards the islands. The current carried us further every moment I looked back in that direction.

I racked my brain for solutions to fix this... circumstance, but nothing came to mind. I looked as far as my eyes could see in the direction we were drifting, and all that could be noted was the horizon touching the blue ocean. I ran my hands through my hair, and tugged on the ends. I bit the inside of my cheek to think of anything to get us out of this.

There was no fixing our situation, and that made my blood boil. The one thing I couldn't stand was a problem with no solution.

"I'm sorry," Ella whispered, barely audible over the water that lapped at the edges of our raft. She was sorry? Sorry for what exactly? Convincing me of this grand scheme? Sorry for putting us out in the middle of nowhere on a makeshift raft of spare sticks and vines?

"I... in the back of my head, this was the worst case scenario, and I'm sorry for dragging you along with me. I'm so sorry."

I still had my head turned the other way. I couldn't look at her. I should have been the one to convince her that this was out of our realm of control; too big of an idea to put into fruition. All of the days that we had been stranded, facing the highs and the lows, the exhaustion crashed over me. I rested my head on my hands, not answering her apology not because I didn't want it, but because it was just too much to process all at once. I couldn't put all of this blame on her.

I clenched my jaw, and shifted my dirty suit jacket out from under me. I dipped it in the water, and laid it over my head, trying to keep the blazing sun off of me. The frustrating thing about this situation was the fact that there was nothing we could do. Swimming would wear us out, and yelling would tire us. We had to conserve our energy... for whatever was to come.

"Ella. We're going to figure this out just like everything else we've figured out before. This wasn't a bad idea, but it also wasn't..." I lost my words. Ella was still looking in the direction of the islands, becoming hazy with the rolling clouds coming in. The sun had taken shelter behind the clouds, and the sea's open breeze had started a chill that crept up my lower back to my shoulders.

I noticed Ella shiver, but when didn't I notice something she did? I removed my jacket from my head that was now slightly dry, and put it around her shoulders. She turned her head ever so slightly, but it was just enough for me to see the tear spill from the corner of her eye, and roll down her cheek. The sight alone paralyzed me. I had seen Ella cry too many tears. I remember the way her body sunk into mine while she let everything out about her father. I learned that her mother had hurt her, and caused some sort of grief during her childhood, but I wasn't able to learn why as she had fallen asleep in my arms, curled into my side. I didn't want to move and disturb her.

Ella and I on more than one occasion came close to... kissing. I was guilty for letting myself fall into this web of what exactly? I knew exactly what I wanted, how to get it, and nothing could stop me from doing that. But Ella was like... forbidden fruit. The days we were here blended into one another, and the more I saw of her, got to know her, the closer I felt. Was it just our proximity, or was it more than that?