Can't Stop Love

I love you so why....

Butters pov

I was in my room sitting on the floor holding my hello kitty doll. It was about 6:30 at night and I was pissed. Though I was usually pissed these days. After I found out about that stupid journal I just felt so hurt. Once I got home from Eric's house that day, I threw away my smile bracelet for our friendship was over and smiling was just stupid.

I honestly didn't truly know why the book hurt me so bad. True it was a book of every bad thing he's ever done to me and that was so horribly wrong. Though I couldn't help but think if Eric and I weren't so close as friends and didnt get especially close over the past month I wouldn't have gotten so angry. I had really thought Eric was starting to actually trust me as a friend and even more than that.

I felt myself blush and then shook my head. Why in the Sam's heck was I blushing when I was thinking about Eric Cartman? It was against everything to love fellas and especially that fat bastard. Though I knew no matter what I told myself, I did like Eric and that was the reason why I was so mad about him doing all that stuff to me. Heartbroken? Probably so, though that's what you get for falling for someone just because they changed a bit.

"Oh son of a biscuit!" I said throwing my hello kitty across the room. I hated how easily manipulated I've always been. I hated how Eric pretended to like me and I thought he was being serious. Of course I did because I was so gullible. I hugged my knees to my stomach and cried.

"Eric why would you hurt me like that," I cried "All I wanted was to make you smile, I....."

I lifted my head and looked around. My eyes rested on the picture of Eric and I in the frame I made. We were both smiling and this made me cry even more. I walked over to it and brought it back to my bed and sat besides my bed while holding it.

I simply just stared at it for several minutes. My tears had made the picture all blurry and I kept wiping them off but they just kept coming. I wanted to go to Eric and say how I felt, say I loved him and wanted to make up but then the memory of the journal came back. I threw the picture on the ground and smashed the frame.

"That's it from now on I'm a new Butters!" I said threw my tears "I'm going to be strong and never let anyone get close to me or hurt me again!"