𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐊𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐌𝐞.

PART 1.

warnings: drinking, partying, smoking, mentions of a toxic relationship. mentions of drunk driving, mentions of alcohol poisoning, smoking.

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This party sucked. Everyone smelled like beer. It was too loud. Everyone around me was wasted and I just wanted to go home. Every single person I've come in contact with tonight has managed to piss me off in one way or another. Including my boyfriend, Max. Every time he drinks it's like he thinks he can finally say or do anything he wanted to and it did nothing but anger me, but I never said anything. He drinks, that's okay. I guess. I don't. That's okay too, I think.

So mostly being the only sober one at every party he drags me too, isn't necessarily my idea of a good time. Yet I suck it up almost every weekend because I didn't want to upset Max. He does a lot for me I can do things for him. Even if it means that I have to sit in the corner of the room watching my friends get wasted. I mostly find myself watching the clock, hoping one of them decides to call it a night early, or at least get sick so we have an excuse to leave.

This particular night Max was really, really pushing my buttons. First it was about my outfit. He hated it, basically forced me to change. He told me, 'You're an Labraut, you're suppose to look classy Y/n', I remember him glaring at me in my room. Next it was about who was driving. He always insisted to drive every time we went out, promising me that he would let me drive his car home, spoiler alert, he never did. He always wanted to drive home. Insisting that he was fine to drive. Clutching the seatbelt and the door handle as he whipped his brand new BMW across the neighborhoods, begging, praying we got home safe.

We fought in my driveway, over which who was going to drive. Him or me. I told him he could even drive there, just please let me drive home. Somehow within the argument I gave in, letting him drive. He kissed my head and told me not to worry that he would let me drive home this time. I reluctantly smiled as we picked up each of our friends and drove them to the party.

Max used to push me on drinking, not anymore. He gave up early in our relationship. Along with most of the affection, unless he was drunk, then he was all over me. Especially when we went back to my house because my parents would let him stay the night. My parents loved Max. Sometimes I even questioned if they loved him more than they loved me. They told me all the time as I was growing up that they wished I was a boy. That I was suppose to be a boy. They stopped saying that when I turned 14 though. I guess they realized wishing that I was a boy everyday wouldn't magically make me wake up with a dick.

God they were assholes sometimes. They let me basically do anything I wanted, which I gets lonely after a while but you get used to it. I definitely was. Like I said, they were assholes. I think they started to semi-like me when I started dating Max. Which Max ate up. I was getting kind of tired of the way he was treating me. We fought almost the entire way to the party before I agreed to go to his hockey game next weekend that was three hours away, might I add. He couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to drive that far on a Saturday. He didn't understand that sitting home and reading sounded like a better plan to me.

The longer we argued, the more I wanted it to end. So I would ultimately give in after a while. I think Max started to catch on too, because he would never give in until I did. I've learned throughout my life that speaking up for yourself does nothing but cause trouble for yourself. Or at least that's what my mom always taught me. I'm starting to think that's true since I spent the entire rest of the car ride starting out the window, fighting tears.

Max kissed me before we walked into the party. Just a peck, as If to say, "I'm sorry for being such a dick". I smiled at him and we continued into the party.

That brings me here, absolutely annoyed and tired. Sydney walked over in my direction with her usual soft-pitying smile. She was my best friend, really sometimes the only person I could stand in my life. I smiled softly towards her direction.