I Don't Deserve This (Unedited)

Chapter 10 ~ Back to Work

Trigger Warnings
⚠️⚠️⚠️
Mentions of a sexual nature
Gore
Blood
Violence

I slowly awaken to the sounds of a whining puppy and the shifting of sheets. I bury my face in my pillow and the fog slowly lifts as I realize a few things;

1. My pillow has never smelt this good. Even in paradise my pillow doesn't smell as good.

2. My pillow is moving and while the movement is soothing it's not how pillows are supposed to act.

3. My pillow also isn't supposed to have a heartbeat.

Wait, a heartbeat!?!

I sit up quickly, if I had a heart it would be literally jumping out of my chest with how panicked I feel in that moment.

Before I can even calm down enough to remember what happened the night before I am enveloped in the warmth of the most amazing people I've ever met.

Lithuania softly and sleepily pets my hair and whispers softly in my ear telling me I'm safe.

Braxton holds me tightly and reminds me of where I am and who I'm with.

I take a moment to breathe and let myself absorb the soft sweetness filling the room. The night before slowly comes back to me and I let myself sink back into the covers.

Then the embarrassment and guilt hit me full force.

"I'm so sorry." My voice shakes and I can't keep my lip from quivering as I realize how my immediate jolt of panic must've affected their morning. How awkward things will be if they decide they don't like me anymore.

"Why ever would you be sorry dumpling?" Lithuania's soft voice drifts over my ear as she wipes at my tears with a soft touch.

"You woke up in a place you've never been after a night of drinking." Braxton whispers and buries his face in my neck. He continues to hold me tightly as I let the waves of emotion hit me one after the other.

"I immediately panicked when I woke up. And we....." I let my voice drift. Worried that if I say it, It'll be real.

If it's real I'll be too scared to even stay here. The panic from before will never fade away.

"We were incredibly drunk and..." Lithuania and Braxton share a look and they turn away.

"And you regret it.." I finish the sentence for her. "I read into it. You guys never even liked me, I should've known. Why would anyone like me? I-" Lithuania and Braxton cover my mouth with their hands. Not enough to keep me from breathing completely but enough to make my belly turn with butterflies. The sensation confuses me enough to distract me from my spiral.

"Honey. We've been wanting to make a move for a while. We had a great time last night and we were actually going to ask you if you wanted to go out with us sometime..." Braxton's smooth voice coaxes me with the beauty of his words. It feels too good to be true.

"Like on a date." Lithuania finishes his sentence. "Can we uncover your mouth yet or are you still spiraling.

My mind swirls with fear and hope.