The Sweet Spot

The Loud House: The Sweet Spot

Lincoln: [to the viewers] "Ah, road trips. That beloved tradition of families everywhere. Tomorrow, the Loud family is going on a trip of our own. Sounds fun, right? Not with thirteen of us packed into the family wagon. Or, as we affectionately call it, Vanzilla. [looks down at the family van] Every seat in Vanzilla offers one kind of torture or another." [pulls up his mattress to reveal the above view of the van; circles the third seat from the front row] "Getting stuck next to Lily's car seat is no good."
[Flashback; Lincoln is seen reading his book. Offscreen, Lily's saliva gets on it.]
Lincoln: "Gah! Lily!"
[Giggling, Lily throws a beet, juice, and finally another beet at Lincoln. The boy is rendered unconscious. Cut back to Lincoln's room; Lincoln x's out the circled seat and points to the back row.]
Lincoln: "The back row is so far away from Mom and Dad, that it turns into the wild, wild west."
[Flashback; the twins look at each other angrily while Lincoln is seen with a comic book and soda between them.]
Lola: "Stop looking at me."
Lana: "You stop looking at me!"
[The twins lunge at each other and start fighting with Lincoln caught in the fray. The fight stops shortly with Lincoln looking messy.]
Lincoln: "Come on! We haven't even left the driveway yet!"
[Cut back to Lincoln's room; Lincoln draws a line across the back row and points to the first seat from the front.]
Lincoln: "And this seat has the exact opposite problem." [Flashback to Lincoln reading a comic in said seat] "It's right in Dad's sight line."
Lynn Sr.: "Feet off the seat!"
[Lincoln looks at Lynn Sr., whose furious eyes can be seen in the driver's mirror. He scowls and takes his foot off; a sappy tune plays over the radio.]
Lincoln: [narrating] "Plus, it's next to the one-working speaker."
Lynn Sr.: "Ooh, honey. It's our prom theme. Prrrrrrrr!" [turns up the music even louder]
[Lincoln starts repeatedly banging his head on the back of the driver's seat in frustration. Cut back to Lincoln's room; he x's out that seat.]
Lincoln: "And the rest of the seats only get worse." [Flashback to a still image of Lincoln finding out there's gum on his rear while sitting next to Leni and trying to get it off] "There's the sticky..." [Flashback to a still image of Lincoln finding out his seat is covered in Charles's urine] "...the soggy..." [Flashback to a still image of Lincoln getting launched into Vanzilla's sunroof due to a spring sticking out of his seat while Lisa nonchalantly reads an astronomy book to his right] "...the springy..." [Flashback to Lincoln getting annoyed by his backrest leaning onto him as Luna listens to music] "...and the slanty. [Back in the present, Lincoln x's and lines out more seats until he points to the first seat from the second row.] From my calculations, that leaves just one seat safe from it all. I call it 'The Sweet Spot.' [We seen Lincoln has written 'The Sweet Spot' on the remaining space] And tomorrow, it will be mine, 'cause I'm gonna stake it out tonight."

[Lincoln notices that everyone else in the house has fallen asleep.]
Lincoln: "There's my cue. Everyone's asleep." [Lincoln grabs his duffle bag] "It's go time."
[Lincoln tiptoes out of his room and turns on a torch he is holding. He steps on Cliff's tail. Cliff meows loudly in pain until Lincoln pets him to sleep. He goes out the house and into the car.]
Lincoln: [takes out his radio] "Come in, Nose Bleeder. This is Road Tripper."
Clyde: "Sorry, Road Tripper. I have to keep the line clear for my friend Lincoln."
Lincoln: "This is Lincoln.
Clyde: "Oh. Hi, Lincoln!"
Lincoln: "Operation Sweet Spot is a success. I've secured the seat.
Clyde: "Great job. [pause] So, who did you get to sit next to you?"
Lincoln: "Who did I get to sit next to me?"
[Lincoln shouts in anger and goes back to his room.]
Lincoln: [to the viewers] "I'm sorry you had to see that. Having the wrong sister next to me could totally wreck the sweet spot. Okay, it definitely can't be Luan."
[Flashback; Lincoln is sitting next to Luan in the car.]
Luan: [hits Lincoln with a pillow] "Airbag deployed!" [Laughs]
Lincoln: "And it can't be Lola."
[switch over to Lola giving Lincoln a manicure while his hand is oddly bobbing up and down.]
Lola: "Hold still!"
Lincoln: [voice vibrating; bobbing up and down due to the spring] "I can't! I'm on the spring seat!" [Switch over to when he sat next to Lynn.]
Lincoln: "And it can't be Lynn."
Lynn: "Let's play Auto Attack."
Lincoln: "How do you play that?"
Lynn: "I punch you every time I see a car." [sees a car carrier with a ton of cars driving by.] "Ooh...good timing." [starts rapidly punching Lincoln; end flashback.]
Lincoln: "I got it! Leni!"
[Flashback to a road trip with a dazed Leni with Lincoln looking at her.]
Lincoln: "The motion of the car always puts her in a daze, and she'll leave me alone."
[End flashback; Lincoln goes to Lori and Leni's room.]
Leni: [having a fashion nightmare] "Oh, scrunchies! Oh, leg warmers!"
Lincoln: "Leni. Leni! LENI!" [shakes her awake] "Oh, good. You're awake. Listen. Will you sit next to me in the car tomorrow?"
Leni: "Sure. I mean, it's the least you could do. You did just save me from a bad fashion nightmare." [goes back to sleep]
Lincoln: "Yes!" [leaves]
Leni: [having another nightmare] "SOCKS WITH SANDALS!"