Embers of hope (Enigma Series 1)

Chapter 1

"Isn't it scary to be ready to die at such a young age?" a priest asked, causing murmurs among the crowd. While some laughed, treating it as a joke, the question resonated with me. Maybe because I, too, have contemplated it.

"Take a moment to observe those around you, matatanda man o bata ay naiisip na ang pagpapakamatay, tama ba?" he added.

I had no intention of scrutinizing someone beside me, but I felt a piercing gaze on me, urging me to steal a glance. He was a boy my age, wearing a wide smile. His emerald eyes, contrasting against his fair skin, seemed oddly familiar. It appeared that I was slightly taller than him.

"Are you by yourself?" he asked, radiating a friendly aura, extending his hand towards me. However, I simply stared back, my response curt and cold. Growing up, I had learned to keep my distance from others, convinced that they had malicious intentions.

Simula pa noong musmos ako, I endured unimaginable hardships that even I struggle to comprehend.

"Sungit."

I ignored him and refocused on the priest's words. But within seconds, I felt a gentle tug on my dress, as if someone was trying to get my attention and he succeeded.

"I'm curious, why are you alone? Where are your parents? Isn't it dangerous to be by yourself?" he bombarded me with questions. I raised an eyebrow, glancing at him before shifting my focus elsewhere. Quite talkative for a boy.

"Hey," his voice came softly. I let out a deep sigh before turning to face him.

"Could you please be quiet? I dislike noisy people like you. Just mind your own business," I snapped, irritation evident in my words. It was true, I despised being interrupted while listening to the priest.

"Are you angry? I just want to be friends with you," he said, napairap na lamang ako sa kawalan.

"Well, I don't. So find someone else to talk to. I don't want to be friends with you," I retorted sharply. Within minutes, I noticed his silence. I didn't intend to dwell on it, but his reaction troubled me. Had I truly been that harsh?

I glanced at him, only to be taken aback by the sight of his silent tears. It seemed as though he was afraid to make a sound, fearing reprimand.

"W-what... What's wrong?" I couldn't help but ask, a hint of concern creeping into my voice.

"Am I really that ugly? Nobody wants to be friends with me," he continued to cry quietly, leaving me at a loss for how to console him. I sighed, feeling defeated.

"Fine, just stop being nosy," I replied. Slightly surprised, he quickly wiped his face with his clean handkerchief. He wasn't ugly, actually, there was nothing about him that was ugly.

His skin was smooth, his nose was well-shaped, and his lips was beautifully formed. Perhaps he was just small in stature, but other than that, there was nothing wrong with him.

"Really?" I could see the excitement in his eyes. I nodded and avoided making eye contact with him.

I couldn't fully focus on what the priest was saying because of his presence. I let out a sigh of relief when he finally stopped bothering me.

As soon as the priest's mass ended, I quickly stood up, eager to leave. However, as I glanced at him, I noticed him savoring a piece of luxurious chocolate with great delicacy.

His hair, tied up in a stylish top knot, which suited him perfectly. I had never been impressed by that hairstyle before, but seeing it on him, I was amazed. It looked fantastic on him.

"Are you finished? Can we talk now?" he asked innocently, as if he had been eagerly waiting for the mass to end just to have a conversation with me.

I cleared my throat and returned to my seat, and he responded with a wide smile. His face lit up with joy whenever he smiled like that.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly.

"What is your name?"

I turned to face him, noticing that his innocent expression had now turned slightly concerned, as he awaited my response.

"Why do you want to know my name?" he tilted his head in response to my question, appearing deep in thought. He looked adorable.

"Because friends should know each other's names," he replied, looking genuinely clueless. Were they new in town? They should have known me, considering I was always the talk of the town. The unwanted child.

Something tugged at my heart because no one had ever bothered to ask my name. If I wasn't labeled as unlucky, they called me crazy, but they didn't even know the truth.

"I'm Shay," I responded briefly. He nodded and then handed me half of his chocolate.

"I'm Kylo. All I can offer you is this chocolate as a symbol of our friendship. Will you accept it?" he asked, and I narrowed my eyes at him. It wasn't obvious, but he seemed mature for his age.

"Then, can I have some?" I replied, and he instantly handed me his chocolate, his smile growing wider.

"I almost forgot, I still have something to give you," he said, then took off his bracelet. The bracelet had the initial 'K' on it, a simple yet clearly expensive design.

"I can't accept that, Kylo," I quickly refused. What was he thinking? We had just met, and he was already giving me something like this.

"Just accept it. Maybe this is the last time we'll see each other. We're moving to New York. I came here hoping to see you," I was shocked to hear that. Was it true? "The first time I saw you, I instantly wanted to be friends with you. Every Sunday, I came here hoping to catch a glimpse of you. Now, I'm happy because we're finally friends, but also sad because I'm leaving you behind."

Feeling conflicted and unsure about how to react, Kylo gently held my hand and placed the bracelet on my wrist. It fit perfectly. He touched the bracelet and gazed deeply into my eyes, his expression filled with sadness.

"During those Sundays that I came here, I was always observing you. Eventually, I realized that maybe you don't have a family or maybe the rumors about you are true, but I didn't care about that. You were alone and distant. All I wanted was for you to have a friend, but sadly, that friend of yours is leaving now."

A tightness gripped my chest, and tears welled up in my eyes. I had thought that nobody cared, even the adults had the same negative opinions about me. But to think that someone like Kylo would understand me, that a young boy like him would care, it was heartwarming. There was still someone who understood me, someone who still cared.

As a seven-year-old, I had found a friend, but our time together was short-lived because he left.

I glanced at the bracelet, a reminder of the memories from eight years ago, yet it felt as if it had just happened yesterday.

"Can you go on a date with me?" he approached her, and I leaned against the wall, observing what would happen next.

She looked at me, silently pleading for help. I shrugged my shoulders and left her to handle the situation.

"I'm sorry, but I can't. Maybe my friend right there can go out with you," she pointed at me. She mouthed an apology and smiled sweetly at me.

Beads of sweat formed on his forehead as he glanced at me. I stared at him coldly, and he quickly said his goodbyes and hurriedly left.

"You really look intimidating, it's scary," she said as she approached me. I just rolled my eyes at her.

"Shut up, Winnie. And why do you always push your suitors onto me?" I asked her. Tumawa lang ito at yumakap sa akin. Inosente siyang ngumiti sa akin.

"You know I'm not ready for a boyfriend yet. I hate boys. They're only good at the beginning," I narrowed my eyes at her, aakalain mo tuloy na niloko na siya noon.

We headed straight to the classroom, our last class for the day.

While many students wanted to go home right after class, I was different. I never wanted to go home. If only I could stay at school all the time, pero alam ko namang imposible iyon. Ilang sako pa ng bigas ang kailangan kong kainin bago makaalis sa impyernong bahay na yon.

I stared at the gate of our house, not wanting to go inside because I knew another nightmare was waiting for me. She was here.

"Oh, mabuti naman at nandito ka na, akala ko wala ka ng planong umuwi," she laughed like a demon, holding a cigarette while sitting on the sofa. I just looked at her coldly, though my hands were trembling, I didn't show any signs of being affected.

She only comes home once a month from work. I don't know what her job is, and I have no intention of finding out. The days when she's not here are the most peaceful days for me, and now that she's back, I know I won't be able to find peace again.

"Hoy! Ang kapal din ng mukha mo, bakit? Do you have something to be proud of? Probably a boyfriend?," she approached me and playfully slapped my face multiple times. Her hits were weak, but when she saw that there was still no emotion in my eyes, her anger ignited and she slapped me hard, causing me to fall to the floor.

She's still as strong as before, and I know I still can't defeat her. Over the years, I've become accustomed to this treatment from her.

She knelt down, a wicked grin on her lips, her eyes filled with a sinister gleam. I despised her with every fiber of my being, she forcefully tried to make me smoke a cigarette. I resisted, causing it to fall to the floor. She picked it up and pressed it against my arm, relishing in my pain, her laughter echoing like a demon's.

"Naiinis talaga ako kapag tinitingnan mo ako ng ganiyan, nakakainit ng dugo," she spat, leaving me weak and trembling. The burning sensation on my skin persisted, a constant reminder of her cruelty.

She hated me, and I felt the same, despite the fact that she was my mother and I am her daughter. I was always the unwanted child, never felt loved or appreciated.

"Hinihiling ko na sana hindi ka na lang ipinanganak, na sana ay hindi na kita binuhay pa!" she angrily exclaimed. In a fit of rage, she grabbed a vase from the table and hurled it towards me. Caught off guard, I couldn't dodge it, and it struck my stomach, causing me to double over in pain. "I should have killed you long ago!" she added with venom in her voice.

I yearned to express that I never asked to be born, that I never wanted any of this. Every day, the thought of death crossed my mind, knowing it would bring her joy. Pero hanggang kaya kong tiisin ang pang aabuso niya sa akin, hindi ko siya hahayaang maging masaya. I won't kill myself just so she could be happy and contented with her life.

Weakly whimpering, tahimik kong ginamot ang sarili sa kwarto ko.  Meanwhile, my mother was downstairs, surrounded by her friends, indulging in alcohol once again. Whenever she was like this, I never dared to leave my room, fearing her cruel games. At the age of ten, she had tried to make me smoke a cigarette, and as an innocent child, I nearly lost my life. I don't know what happened that day, but I struggled to breathe, and all she did was laugh.

That's why I've grown up to be heartless, molded by her influence. But there was a time when I was an innocent child with wide, innocent eyes.