Why Matthew Banks Killed Amelia Woods

Filth

Matthew Banks wakes up in the morning, aggravated and aggressive.

He gets into his shower and scrubs himself, really, really hard.

Matthew Banks never feels clean.
He feels as if there is filth on him that will never go away.

So he scrubs,
And scrubs,
And scrubs,
And scrubs.

But it's never enough.
It will never be enough.
His hair is dirty.
His arms are dirty.
His face is dirty.
His chest is dirty.
His legs are dirty.
His stomach is dirty.
His insides are dirty.
His hands are dirty.

Why is Matthew dirty?
Because his mother loved him too much.

Matthew is dirty.
Showers are the only
thing keeping him sane.

Is Matthew sane?
No.

No Matthew has never been sane.
Not now,
Not yesterday,
Not last week,
Not this month,
Not this year,
Not ever.

Matthew has never been sane.
Why?
Because his mother loved him too much.

Matthew has
5 different soaps,
5 different shampoos,
5 different towels,
5 different rags.

Why?
Because Matthew is too dirty.
How can he be clean?
He can't.
Matthew is too dirty to be cleaned.

So he scrubs,
And scrubs,
And scrubs,
And scrubs.

Matthew doesn't realize he can't wash feelings off.

Matthew's lungs are aching.
His head is hurting.
His arms are bleeding.
The water is boiling.

But Matthew doesn't stop.
No.
Matthew never stops.

Matthew is too dirty.

The water's cold.
Matthew's eyes are burning.
Matthew's face is wet.
But surely Matthew isn't crying.
It's the shower.
The water.
The water is cold.
The water in his eyes is hot.

Matthew gets out of the shower.
Matthew cleans his torso with one towel.
Then cleans his left arm with another one.
And his right arm with another one.
And his left leg with another one
And his right leg with the other one.

Why would Matthew do that?
Because filth goes everywhere.
Reusing a towel is like spreading dirt on himself.

Then Matthew stops crying.

Matthew, my dear, why do you cry ?
Big boys don't cry.