Nightmares - Joshler.

Chapter 1 - Let go.

   Beep. Beep. Beep.
A hand reached out from under the blanket, violently tapping the "Stop" button, until the alarm shut off. Tyler's mind was awake, but he most certainly wasn't. The brunette opened his umber brown eyes — still misty in sleep — and looked at the time on the bright screen of his smartphone. Squinting from the radiant light, he saw it's nothing unusual, 6 a.m., the time Tyler wakes up every morning on weekdays.

He sat up on the bed, rubbed his eyes, and face, then brushed his fingers through his hair. Looking out the window in front of his bed, all he saw was the light indigo sky, not a cloud in sight. Climbing out of bed, Tyler put his slippers on and routinely made his bed, putting his teddy bear right on top. The brunette headed to the bathroom, brushed his teeth, brushed his hair — everything to look considerably presentable for the day. He then changed from his pajamas into the outfit he'd picked out in advance. The outfit consisted of a black long sleeve, on top of which was a grey tee with dark horizontal stripes, finished off with a pair of black skinny jeans and a pair of Vans. It didn't look like he was trying too much, but also didn't look like he wore the first random thing from his closet.

Joseph was making sure he looked alright, and that's when the anxiety started creeping up on him once more.  What if he fails to introduce himself properly? What if someone will try to become friends with him, but he'll be too insecure to accept the fact someone's actually interested in him? What if he gets made fun of?

He looked around the room, his eyes landing gaze upon his teddy. Tyler remembered of his plans to take it with him to school. Sprinting over to the bed, the brunette immediately wrapped his hands around the poor thing. This teddy single-handedly meant the absolute world to him. He couldn't afford losing him to some jerk, who picks on others to boost their ego. On the other hand, if Tyler goes through an anxiety attack, he could be made fun of by more people rather than a single jerk.

Letting his impulsive thoughts win, Tyler placed the teddy in his schoolbag, afterwards making his way downstairs. His father didn't start work until later, and the brunette had no time to prepare adequate breakfast. Grabbing a granola bar, he got out of the house, walking to school.

☡

Tyler was passing the school gates, blending in with a crowd of students rushing to their destinations. All the noise was quite overwhelming, making the boy clutch his bag straps tighter and squint his eyes slightly. Doing his best to keep a relatively straight face, Tyler approached his locker, checking his schedule, as well as idly staring at it, in order to both seem busy and avoid human interaction. He got all the stuff he needed for his first period, but before he went to class, the brunette sent a small glance towards the teddy inside his bag. Sighing, he zipped his schoolbag shut so that no one would notice.

An irritating noise of the school bell echoed through the hall, as Tyler entered the classroom for his first period — literature. Thankfully, he had this class with the only friend he had around here. Sitting at his usual place, waiting on Mark, Tyler started fiddling with a pen. He brushed the tip several times against his skin, by accident, however it formed an interesting symbol. Looks a bit like an 'H', but more like...'|-/'?

Mark was already in his seat, right by Tyler. Thankfully, the teacher was completely chill and nobody had to do an introduction of any sorts. After attendance was taken, Tyler started idly doodling on the corner of his desk, while Mark was going on about the things he's done in summer. And that guy certainly didn't waste his time on holiday, unlike Tyler.

The brunette was doing his best to keep up with whatever the teacher was talking about, apparently something about Shakespeare, but Tyler really couldn't care less. Mark has shut up at this point, while Joseph's mind was wandering elsewhere — he was thinking of how things didn't feel real. It's like he was looking at everything through a lens, almost as if Tyler wasn't in control of his own life. It was already written out for him, he was simply following a path, however no one ever let him know what the path was, or where it ultimately led him. The final destination could be death. But what if that's not the end? What if there's more to it, even after death? Is he destined to eternal life of monochrome routine?