I'm a rebel, he's a host... now what? (OHSHC Hikaru fanfic)

Chapter 14

 ---Ayame---

I just stood there in the shower as the hot water ran all over my body. 

What am I going to do? I thought. I... I have to go back with Ryuu but.. what about Hikaru? What about everything here? What.. what am I going to do about my life? If I just disappear.. will he forget me? Will he get over me? What about Kaoru? Now that he's fallen for Suki and she's fallen for him... but Ryuu wants us both to go back.

And last night...

---flashback---

Hikaru had come to my room, we just lay there together, in each other’s arms. We didn't do anything. It was just comforting each other.

"Ayame.." he whispered. 

"Yeah? What is it Hikaru?" I answered.

He then pulled away slightly, and his hand reached my chin, lifting my head so that we locked eyes. 

"I know that I promised you that I'd never leave you.." he said, his voice soft, and calming but.. I was still scared of what he was going to say next. "Can.. can you promise me... promise me that you'll never leave me?"

I froze. I had no idea what I was supposed to say. 

I couldn't move my lips. I know what I should have told him.. what I would have been able to tell him if I hadn't seen Ryuu today. 

I would have told him, Hikaru, I love you.. and I'm not just saying that, ever since I meet you, you've been nothing but amazing. You're an amazing guy and... you mean so much to me. I promise I'll never leave you.

But I couldn't say that. How could I lie? I know I have to go with Ryuu.. if I don't.. then he'll hurt the others..

"I promise." I whispered. And that's all I could say as I crossed my fingers out of his sight. But he believed me as he pulled me back into his chest. 

"Thank you." he whispered. 

I'm glad he couldn't see the one tear that slipped down my face.

He may have felt it and thought it was one of joy, but it was one of sadness, one of lies. Knowing that I had just lied to the most important person in my life.

---end of flashback---

I felt tears reaching my eyes as I remembered. 

What the hell am I going to do!? I... I love Hikaru.. I want to stay with him so bad.. but I can't. No matter how much I want to.. I can't. 

 ~

---Hikaru---

I couldn't help but let a smile cross my face once I saw Ayame, even in her casual mini skirt, hoodie, she still looked amazing to me. 

"Hey Ayame," I said as she made it down the stairs.

"Hi Ayame!" said my twin as his new girlfriend in unison. 

I'd only really meet Suki this morning and I gotta say, she's pretty awesome, perfect fit for my brother and I could see how much she really cared about him. I’m happy for them. 

"Hey." Ayame replied and I could hear the sadness to her voice.

Why is she sad?

"Ayame?" I questioned as I got up and walked over to her. 

She just gave me a small smile and tried walking to the others but I grabbed her arm, pulling her back into my arms. 

"Ayame," I said as I turned her to face me so I could see her eyes. "Ayame what's wrong?"