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GUESS WHO'S BACK~!? hiya, sorry again for the lil hold, but I'm back with more chapter ideas >:}
And ik that things between al and luci might be goin too quick but slowburns kinda suck ngl. anyway, happy reading!

Lucifer groaned as he woke up, rubbing his eyes. He yawned, wrapping his arms back around his pillow and burying his face into said heat source.

Suddenly, the pillow moved! It laughed! And then, "Good morning to you, too, your majesty." a distinct voice laced with radio static spoke.

It was at this moment that Lucifer realized his pillow was wearing red silk pajamas, black fingerless gloves, and was in fact, not a pillow.

The king moved his face away from the overlords chest, "Alastor?" he questioned sleepily.

Alastor's smile was soft as he buried his claws into Lucifers hair, "Hello, Luci. Not a morning person, are you?"

The fallen angel leaned into the touch, "mm, no." he mumbled.

Alastor placed a soft peck to Lucifers forehead, brushing through the few tangles in the blondes locks.

"Hey, Al?" Lucifer spoke up.

"Yes, dear?" The deer responded.

"What... what are we?"

"What do you want to be?"

"Uh..." Lucifer looked down at the wedding ring on his finger, then back up at Al.

The deer noticed, setting his hand on the fallen angels hip, "Which ever one of us you choose is alright with me."

The king took off his ring and threw it on the floor, "It's been seven years, if she gets mad about it, she can suck it the fuck up." Lucifer wrapped his arms around Alastor's neck, "You're my boyfriend now."

The redhead chuckled, "If that's what you want, my liege."

Alastor's ear twitched, picking up the familiar taps of black-toed white heels belonging to a certain princess, as well as the vibrations of Vaggie's feet hitting the ground. And... also a set of new footsteps? No heels tapping? No claws hitting the floor? Different weight distribution than anyone else and differently spaced steps... Who the hell? Who tf is wearing Jordans???? Those are some different floor vibrations and Al does not like it.

The sinner looked over at his door, raising an eyebrow, "...what the fuck?"

"What's wrong?" Lucifer asked.

"Do you know of anyone new staying here?"

"Uh, no?"

Alastor got up from his bed and snapped, now wearing his signature suit. He opened his door, "Charlie?" he called.

Charlie turned around, "Alastor! Good morning!"

"To you as well, dear. But, if I may, who are you walking with? I don't believe I was told of any new residents?"

"How-? Whatever. This is—"

Vaggie cut off her girlfriend, pointing her spear at the sinner next to her, "I'm sure he could introduce himself."

A loud, exaggerated sigh, "Do I have to???" A man pouted.

Alastor sighed, walking closer to the three, as well as using a tentacle to wrap around the newcomer and bringing him closer.

Meanwhile, Lucifer got dressed and teleported down the hall because he does not need his precious daughter Charlie, uh- Maggie? Yeah, sure, Maggie, and the new guy to know he slept in the radio demons room.

The devil walked towards the group, only to stop in his tracks once he got a good look at the new sinner.

"Ugh- Let me go, you radio freak!" The brunette jordan-wearing man shouted.

"Unholy shit, Adam?" Lucifer said, astonished.

Adam gasped, "THAT'S THE BITCH WHO STOLE MY WIVES!"

"I didn't steal them, they came to me, the fuck?"

"NO, YOU—"

Adam was interrupted by sharp radio static piercing the air, a black aura started to surround our favorite deer as red symbols floated around him. The grip of the tentacles around Adam tightened, cutting off the first mans airways.

"The first man," Alastor mused, his smile widening, "First on Earth, first human in heaven, but now... just some random sinner. Oh, what a tale. What a delight!"

"Fuck, fuck, fuck-" Adam muttered under his breath.

"ALASTOR!" Vaggie shouted, pointing her spear in the radio demon's direction.

"Al, if you could, um, not kill him, that would be appreciated!" Charlie chuckled nervously.

The deer didn't heed any warning or the implied threat of the ex-exorcists spear. The grip around Adam tightened as Al closed his fist, "It's been so long since I've had such an... interesting broadcast!"

Lucifer sighed, walking next to the coca-cola dressed man and putting a hand on Alastor's arm (he can't reach his shoulder), "He isn't worth it, Bambi."

Immediately, the tentacles around the first man disappeared, unraveling and disappearing into the ground, Alastor raised and eyebrow at the short king, " 'Bambi'? Really?"

Lucifer chuckled, "Do you prefer deer boy?"

The sinner gagged, "Hell no, you are terrible at coming up with nicknames, oh my god."

"It distracted you though~"

"It wha-?" Al looked at his hand, no longer balled into a tight fist, and Adam, rubbing at his neck, Al sighed, turning back to his boyfriend, "you bitch, I hate you..."

"Sure ya do, Bambi, let's just go make food, yeah?"

"Yeah, sure." Alastor grumbled, "But get your hand off of me."

The fallen angel hummed as they both walked, pretending to contemplate the request, only to grin, "No."

"I'll bite you." The overlord threatened, baring his sharp teeth.

Lucifers grin widened, "Do it."

"...Now I don't want to."

"I'm joking, Al, calm down." the blonde chuckled.

Meanwhile, Vaggie, Charlie, and Adam stood in the hallway, in shock.

"Are they... actually getting along?" Vaggie muttered.

Charlie was trying to figure out how the hell her dad just managed to stop Alastor from murdering someone.

"That psycho almost choked me to death and that's what you're concerned about!? God, Vajjie, you really don't care about me, holy shit..."

— — — — — — — — —
975 words.

Kinda a filler chap, just needed to get my boy Adam back in here.
Also, I left for like, five days, and this got over 2k reads wtf?

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