A letter to my love, though you are gone

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Neil Perry,

I miss you.

I miss the way you would smile when you were excited. A grin so infectious that, no matter the day I was having, i'd have to smile too.

I miss that look in your eyes, when your whole face would light up talking about acting or poetry. You always seemed lighter then. Like these were the things that let you breathe, and maybe they were.

I miss your passion, and love for the arts.

I miss the ways you tried to pull me out of my comfort zone. Like when you made me join the dead poets society and then kept bugging me to actually read something in front of the other poets. And if you hadn't dragged me into your group of friends, I probably wouldn't have any. Especially none like Charlie, Meeks, Pitts, or Knox. So thank you for them I guess.

I miss your hands. The way they would glide while you were writing, with such precision it almost seemed effortless.

The way they moved when you talked. They would follow you around without your meaning to.

I guess they were kind of like me. Involuntary but always there with you to applaud whenever you need. You deserved it. You always deserved it Neil. You were amazing, in every way. Not just in your acting. It was in the way talked, so sure of yourself; confident and filled with passion.

The way you wrote. So neat on the page and with so much meaning behind every word. It was no wonder you were so good at poetry.

The way you would cheer me up so effortlessly. Like on my birthday when my parents got me the same desk set as the year before. You managed to make it okay with just a few sentences because you were an amazing friend too.

The way you just were.

You just existed, and it lit up my world. You were the sun and the stars and the moon. And now that you're gone my world is in darkness again. How will it survive without its light? When you were everything it ever needed?

Cause you're gone now, but the part of me that needs you; the part that loves you, is still there. I think it always will be.

- Todd Anderson