It was a late Friday night, and I could not fall asleep. Fat raindrops knocked heavily on my skylight window above me, and I kept tossing and turning in bed for what seemed like an eternity. It was already past midnight, when I sat up in my bed, slid into my slippers and went downstairs to the kitchen for a drink. I grabbed a cold beer from the fridge and plopped down on my couch to watch something.
Remote in hand, I mindlessly flicked through the static until I ended up on a late-night show called 'Freak of the Week', or something like that. It was the show of that irritating host George Reid, who each week interviewed some hapless weirdo. Witches, psychics, even a guy who believed he transformed into a werewolf in the moonlight were all on the menu to be ridiculed in front of a live audience. One time, they paraded a furloughed circus clown who claimed he could regenerate any limb lost – the most memorable episode by far. Despite the off-putting nature of its gimmick, the show became popular among insomniacs.
"... And that was Phil with the weather. Thank you, Philip, it seems we have to wait a little longer for sunny days, folks," he said with his well-practised smile. "But that shouldn't be a problem for today's guest, Dr. Michael Hopkins. Welcome, Michael, thank you for coming," Reid turned to his guest sitting across from him.
"Thank you for inviting me, George."
Michael was a tall, gaunt figure with a pale complexion. The dark circles around his eyes matched his equally dark hair. Even with these imperfections, he was still an attractive, young-looking fellow.
"Now Michael," Reid looked into his notes, "You claim to have found a new treatment for an ailment that haunts so many of us, the unavoidable effects of ageing. Allegedly, you can treat people even older than seventy to feel and look like twenty-year-olds. Michael, care to elaborate?"
"That is correct. I myself am nearing a hundred," he smiled at the camera, proudly showing off his pearly whites.
Reid paused for a second. "That... I mean wow congratulations, that is miraculous." He started clapping, and the audience followed along. "What is your secret? Carrot juice? Cardio?"
"There is no secret, George, and miracle has nothing to do with it," he spoke calmly with an almost unnoticeable accent. "It's a treatment my colleagues and I have developed over many many years."
"Is it like a new form of plastic surgery? What does the treatment involve? Does it hurt?" Reid asked, faking curiosity, or perhaps this was one of the few topics he was genuinely interested in.
"I assure you George it does not hurt, the procedure is absolutely painless. And there is no plastic surgery involved. First, we put the patient into a deep sleep. Then we make two hematophagic punctures near the pharynx. After a few days, you can already feel the difference in your appearance and energy levels."
"And it also gets rid of wrinkles, as you claim? I might give you a visit after the show, my surgeon has lost his touch." He gave an insufferable grin to the audience, who responded with a laugh.
"I guarantee it, George, one visit at our clinic, and you can say goodbye to your doctor for good. Your health will be impeccable. Your skin will be as clean and tight as new."
"That is incredible. But surely, a treatment such as this could cost you an arm and leg."
"Not at all. The surgery itself is free. You need to take supplements to help with your recovery and to enhance the effects." He held up a clear bottle filled with a dark red fluid to show the audience. "This is what makes the magic happen. So make sure you take them every few days, and you will enjoy all the benefits with no side effects."
"Michael, you already went through this, – treatment. Tell us, how do you feel?"
Dr. Hopkins thought for a moment, then with an honest smile looked at Reid and said, "Never felt more alive."
"Well, you heard it folks, a remedy for seemingly all of our mortal ailments." Reid gave a chuckle to the audience. "If you would like to know more about living a productive and youthful life, call our operators or..."
I did not catch the end of the show. I fell asleep.
After the episode aired, more and more people took the offer of Dr. Hopkins. Even I considered it. A month later, the changes could be seen nationwide. Workers became more productive, the young more energetic, the elderly more youthful. Everyone wanted a taste of Dr. Hopkins's remedy. The world seemingly became rejuvenated.
It was the pharmacies that ran out first, and people quickly exhausted their reserved supplements. A few days later, several blood banks throughout the country were raided and emptied. Last week, people started to disappear from the streets at night. Phil, the weatherman, hasn't forecasted sunny since. And I'm too afraid to go to sleep.
