The Regretevator writing dump / oneshots (regretefic)

An unpleasant visit.

The unpleasant gradient fumbled through its keys. Grumbling under his breath as he tried to match the correct one to the door of the apartment. Seemingly already distressed by something as he opens the keyhole and turns the knob, having granted access .

Entering the floor, unpleasant shut the door behind him and dropped the groceries, tired and depressed, usually, infected would come and run up to greet him in his own way, and unpleasant would usually buy him a little gift from the store, it ranged from a chocolate bar to maybe a silly stress ball for a quick buck or two. It knew infected didn't like them, but seeing his genuine smile, the smile of his son, it made everything worth it.

But no one came.

Unpleasant walked towards the couch and jumped on it, wanting to rot all day. Not bothering with the filth around him or the fact it hadn't showered in a while, no. He just wanted to disconnect and disassociate from reality for a while...

Knock knock knock

Oh great, unpleasant groaned and decided to ignore whoever was awaiting at the door.

Knock knock knock

Unpleasant didnt let the noise of constant knocking bother him..well that was until the person on the other side started to bang on it, unpleasant jolted up and grumpily walked to the door.

He slowly opened the door and his eyes widened as every. Single. Resident of the elevator stood by his doorstep, glaring angrily at him.

Bive, split, spud, dr.retro, lampert, mark, wallter, reddy, (a severely injured) Poob, pest, and even goddamn gnarpy were all standing at his door, with prototype, infected and pilby being the only ones who didn't show up to this 'occasion'.

As unpleasant cocked an eyebrow in confusion, the entire group exploded in masses of words and noises, each one seemingly raging and complaining about something, that was before Poob blow his party horn with extreme force that the group settled, and unpleasant, who'd been staring blankly in confusion the entire time, finally signaled with his hands about what they were here for, and to go one at a time.

"LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID TO POOB. YOU 愚か者!"

"MUH ARMM :["

"THE SPUD CAMP GOT ATTACKED SPUD AGAIN!! THE CHILDREN SPUD SPUD."

"MEOW MEOW MREOWWW MEWOOOWWWW (MY HOSPITAL HAD TO GO ONTO LOCKDOWN!! MY PATIENTS ALMOST GOT KILLED!! BECAUSE OF YOU!)

"MY WOODEN MANNEQUIN BROTHERS GOT DISINTEGRATED BY YER TEETH 'N CLAWS!! poor bobbers...my man can't walk for another six weeks!"

"My stack of gray stuff got ruined! and now I have no more! Do you know how much there was?? And plus, my kitchen got shredded into a mess!"

"Our ZZZRRTTT premise got infiltrated and property damage was found. We though we made it clear you were banned from ZRRRT all sites."

"The mess.........in ikea........so.much.rubble............so much germs..........I don't think I can recover from this........"

"I KNEW YOU WERE STARING DOWN AT US THOUGH THE CIELING BACK IN MY SECRET HIDEOUT!! YOU FREAK I COUDL SMELL YOU!!"

"I honestly don't even have the words to make a joke about h this...damn you really are despicable.."

"I'm juzt here to witnezz you getting zumped on hehehe....zoorple.."

"HUH?" Unpleasant just had the most dreadful and confused expression he could muster, turning to each of the individuals before frantically shaking his head, trying to signal that he didn't know what they were talking about and that he didn't know what they were talking about.

"OH DONT PLAY FOOL!! WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU'RE THE BEAST THATS BEEN HARASSING US FOR MONTHS!!" Bive accused as she pointed at unpleasant. Who shook his head harder and looked offended. Until bive pulled out a snippet of a newspaper.

The newspaper for buildermans death, it's details about the crime scene highlighted in bright yellow. Unpleasant stared wide eyes and grabbed onto the paper before being met with the angry faces again

"And who was the only one in the crime scene besides the tiny infected?? YOUUUU!! THE JIG IS UP UNPLEASANT! WE ALL KNOW NOW! HAH! I KNEW THEY'D BELIEVE ME! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP WITH YOU. EVERYBODY DID!"

Unpleasant just tried to deny again, until the heavy thuds of a large being suddenly stopped them all, and soon, a purple figure appeared from the end of the hallway the group froze as it got nearer.

Mach.

She went up and pushed aside some people, standing clear within unpleasant's vision, menacing as ever. Unpleasant felt sweat fall from his forehead, he gulped.

"Hello there. Care for a little chat?" She said almost sneer-fully as she bent down, glaring at unpleasant, who just froze and couldn't even signal his way before being grabbed by the collar and risen on the air.

"I know what you did to pilby. You INHUMANE being."

"?? Wait what!? How! I didn't even text you!"

"The fleshcousin told me thank you every much."

"FLESHCOUSIN?? huh...so it wasn't you who spied on us...BUT STILL!! YOU MONSTER!" Bive pointed at unpleasant

Unpleasant just shook his head again "It wasn't me!!" It managed to squeak out.

Mach squinted her fierce eyes before suddenly getting an idea "alrighty then. If it wasn't you. Then we'll prove it."

"We??" Mark chimed in

"Yes. We. We'll tie this gradient fellow onto a tree at the forest. Tonight is the full moon, and that, will decide whether or not he is truly lying.

Unpleasant squirmed. He HATED being tied up. Much less so in the open dark forest with potential danger, he tried to get out of Mach's grasp, but she would bother.

"Good idea! zen I'll BLAZT HIM WIZ MY ZHOOTER!! HAHAHAHHA!"

"NO! no blasting! We'll find a more appropriate punishment than death." Split said, bonking gnarpy on xer head, which prompted a hiss and a warning glare.

"Good idea. Banana one."

"Split."

"I mean, split. But that is if he IS the monster, for now, time shall wait." Mach said as she dragged the terrified and confused unpleasant, kicking its legs and screaming to be let go. But no one helped, instead following Mach like a parade into the elevator once again, Mach pulled out a single coin, inserted it onto the slot and pressed onto a button, as the elevators metal contraptions closed, unpleasant gradient reached out, choking for help, but it shut and now there was nothing but silent reverberating the halls of the empty and quaint apartment.