Chapter 1

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Now
Kianna

Walking home from the book store i meet a couple of my work friends ( Julia , Salone , Anna ) at the cafe down the street to catch up. Working in customer service online now gives us less time together so we meet up from time to time. I head in and grab my usual caramel cold brew bullshit, i really don't care what it is as long as it tastes sweet and keeps me awake. I sit at our usual table and wait for them to get here.
The door bell dings and they walk in , they are always together. I've always been the outcast in any situation so I've gotten used to it. I get up and great them as the barista calls my name for my coffee.  "It's been a long time! How have you guys been ?" They all go quiet and look at me like I'm missing something. "What's wrong girls? Did something happen?"
"Have you checked your phone in the past couple hours?"
"No i was at the library down the street and i like to turn it off so i can read in peace. Why?"
"Oh well this is awkward, maybe you should just turn your phone on and read what we sent to the group chat." They other girls start to laugh but the bitch that probably sent the texts is just glaring at me.
Maybe i fucked something up at work and they told her to tell me? I don't know but there acting weird towards me now. I grab my coffee and turn my phone on, while its turning on i head to the table we all usually meet at. My phone finally turns on and i get like twenty notifications pop up , most of them are from the girls chat. I'm reading the chat but all I'm seeing is them dissing me out and telling me I'm no longer in the group. I don't know what i did but I'm kinda relived. They start to head this way and i can hear them taking about me already.  I'm so happy I don't have to be in the same room as these bitches anymore.
They sit at the table and Julia clears her throat trying to get my attention. I continue to ignore them , i honestly couldn't give a fuck what she's about to say. "Why are you still sitting here? I know you read the messages, you look stupid just sitting here when we don't want you here." I look up from my phone and smile as big as i can.
"Honestly Julia your fucking breath smells like eggs, you need to get that shit checked out. Salone and Anna all you do is fucking fallow Julia so I don't know what you fucking laughing at you don't have a mind of your own." I get up to leave and them never saying a word.
I get it I'm not the one to lash back or say anything. Waking out i turn around to see them looking at me and double flip them off. They were bad "friends" anyways. I could never really keep friends because i was too isolated when i was younger . I just don't like to go out as much as most people unless its with someone i enjoy. I've only had a couple people i could really go out with for a couple hours and there all family.
I head towards the book store , I don't even know why i left. I pull my phone out to read the rest of the texts in the group chat. More texts come in and there just talking shit about me like I'm not still in the chat. I send a middle finger in the chat and block them all. I'm tired of having people in my life that just do me wrong or put me in bad situations. I go through all the people on my phone and start to block and delete everyone. I see my ex's number come up next and I hesitate for a moment then just delete. Thinking to myself if I can't find a new man in the next three months ill just get bored and go back to him. Might as well make it harder for me to get ahold of him for whenever that time comes.
I walk into the book store and inhale the sent of new books and crips pages. I've always loved to come here as a kid so my father made it a habit to come here every Friday he could. He didn't come home often but he would make special days for both of his girls. My mother and him always went to dinner the next day and stayed at a fancy hotel after so i would get a whole day alone to read the new book he bought me.
I head straight to the mystery section to find the next book to read for the week. I find a couple other books walking to the corner with the big old red chair I've always sat in. My dad used to sit here and wait for me to come back with loads of books to go through. Its always been so peaceful here. The owner is the only worker so he don't care if i sit in here for hours reading.
It hasn't been a long time since i last sat down and i can feel my legs getting sore. Walking around the area i feel like someone's watching me. I continue to walk around the isles trying to appear like I'm looking for a new book. I can feel them in a couple isles behind me. I want to turn around and tell them to back off but for some reason i find it interesting that someone has this much of a interest in me.  Most just give be a once glance and think they know who i am or what I've been through. I walk up to the back of the store and head into the women's bathroom, hopefully there not someone crazy dangerous enough to come in and try something. I'm just gagging how far they would go, i could handle them if it came down to it. I walk into a stall and sit and wait for something to happen.
After a couple minutes the door opens and someone walks in, I don't know if i should just walk out and confront them or stay in the stall till they get out. I hear them get into a stall and i think to myself its my time to get out and i do but it can't just walk out and this person think I don't wash my hands so i head to the sink and start to wash my hands. As I'm rinsing my hands off the person walks out of the stall and from here i can tell they definitely wasn't the one following me, its a older lady. 
I walk out of the bathroom and see a bunch more people in the store, it must be past five its the only time this place gets a little busy. Walking back to my chair i can feel the person again , I don't know who they are but there pretty good at staying hidden. I grab my book and bag and head to the check out. Walking out the door I look back once more to see if there stupid enough to leave when i leave, but there's no one in sight right now. I head out the store and walk towards my home. I don't live far from the book store , I've always wanted to live more into the city and the closest i could get was on the shittier side of town.
I walking up to my apartment i can feel that person again. It's kind of weird that there still following me inside but maybe they've always lived in the same building. I walk up the stairs and whoever fallowed me into the building isn't behind me yet , maybe they stopped for there mail. I turn around fast and someone shoots past me and i get kinda scared. The person that flew past me is still running up the stairs, it could be them or i could just be imagining things.
I continue up the stairs but at a faster pass now, i hope whoever's fallowing me doesn't want to do any harm to me. I make it to my door and look around just in case if anyone's behind me trying to be sneaky. No ones there or in the hall so i hurry and open my door but right as I'm opening the door Lola comes flying at me trying to greet me as usual. I catch her and head in to feed this crazy cat, she's always into trouble when I'm gone so there's toys and what not all over the floor. I drop her to the floor and set all my bags on the counter. I take a big breath in and relax my shoulders. I'm freaking myself out , no ones been fallowing you.
You just want someone to take an interest in you, and this is probably the reason why you can't keep any friends. You always think everything is about you. My shoulders and body relaxes and i start to unload the new books and my bags on the counter. My house is a wreck and i probably haven't really cleaned it in month. Thinking to myself tomorrows the day ill get my shit together and find real friends and live a normal life. I walk around my house and find  the dirty dishes and utensils, maybe if i start with the dishes ill want to continue and clean the rest of the house. I start to wash and realize I'm definitely not cleaning the house tonight I already feel lazy.
I finish up the dishes and grab my books and set them in there forever home on the shelf. I plop on the couch and turn the tv on, nothings new i always end up doing the same shit everyday. Head to the grocery or anything i need for the day then unload it at home , head to the book store and sit there for a good couple hours and then head back home. Finishing off the day with a scary movie before a shower then another scary movie before bed. My ritual hasn't changed sense i was a kid, it just brings me to peace doing the same things over and over and over, there's no change. That's why when i moved out of my first home i moved here and haven't changed sense.
I turn on a older scary movie and grab my laptop. I forgot to check in with the company today since I've been at the book store all day. I close my laptop and watch this old ,kinda boring scary movie. Finishing the first movie of the night i decide to actually clean up most of the mess on the floors. I used to be good and cleaning up everyday but recently I've been slacking off pretty bad. I grab my laundry basket and start throwing every piece of clothing i find outside of my closet. I should clean up my closet too but that's a bit too much for me right now. I throw the basket full of random clothes and blankets into the wash and out it on for a hour. They've been sitting around for a long time and probably need a long wash.
After the floors cleaned up i head to the bathroom and start a hot hot shower. One thing I've always loved was a hot shower. I could be in the shower for hours and still want to take another shower later. I step into the stream and feel like I'm in another world. I wash my hair then body and step out of the water , feeling the cold air from somewhere i open the shower door. The bathrooms door is wide open but I thought i shut it behind me . I get back into the water and start shaving my body. After rinsing off i step out and wrap myself with the big towel I've always used. I only brought a couple things from my past to this house and one of them is my favorite towel , i bought it when i went on my first and last family vacation to the beach. I look around my bed for Lola before i jump and land on my back on the bed. Today felt like a change , maybe something bigs going to happen soon. I run my hand along my bed looking for my remote when i feel a paper. What's a paper doing on the bed? I don't really use paper anymore and if i do it wouldn't be in here. I grab the paper and see it has some handwriting on it.

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⏰ Last updated: Mar 24 ⏰

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