Never Again

Chapter 2

Exhausted from a sleepless night I drag my feet as I walk, trying to ignore the memories playing through my mind.
“ Maybe they don’t need to bow down and fear me. But I do want people to respect me, like they respect you”.
He traces a finger on my bottom lip and stares into my eyes.
“ Let me change your life. I’ll make you exactly who you’ve always wanted to be”.
I laugh, and he squeezes my hand.
“ I’m already who I’ve always wanted to be with you. This is enough for me” I tell him.
Nodding he pulls me into a hug.
“ Run away with me, and we’ll be strong together”.
Tears of joy flood my eyes and I quickly nod.
“ I’ll go wherever you want as long as you’re with me”.
A smile lights up his face, but at the time I didn’t realize that the smile wasn’t one of love for me. It was one of possession over me.
A tear runs down my face but I quickly wipe it away.
If there's anything useful he taught me it’s that I can’t let emotions control me. It’s still dark out, so I pull myself  up and start walking towards the window I came in through. It’s time to keep moving.
I need to get to the next town and start my next life. 
The sun scorches me as I walk but there's no shade for me to take refuge under. Nearly all of the trees have been cut down at the government's command so all that’s left is old abandoned homes from the people who died in the war. Silently I stop, pausing to look at the empty houses around me.
All of those innocent people dead.
It’s terrifying to think about how fragile a person's life really is.
There are so many things everyone thinks they’ll have in the future, a comfortable home, stable job, family, love.
I thought I’d have all of those.
But now… I’m all alone.
Slowly I force my eyes back to the road in front of me and continue moving forward. I walk until I feel like I can’t walk anymore and then I keep walking. The sun has completely set by the time I reach the next town and nearly all the house lights are off. Quietly I walk into the town, in search of a place to spend the night when I see a piece of paper posted on a nearby light pole.
Ripping it off I stare at the picture of me and sigh. The soldiers have already been through here. In some ways this works in my favor.
Since the soldiers have already searched this town I probably have some time before they search again. But since they’ve come through and left behind these papers, the people will know my face. Running a hand across my face I groan. The soldiers are moving fast, every town probably has these papers by now, nowhere is safe as long as I look like this.
Walking further into the town I duck into an alley and grab out my knife. Not taking time to hesitate I grip my braid in my hand and slice my knife through it in one clean movement. My long hair falls to the ground and I finally pause to take the time to think about what I’m doing.
I can’t be myself anymore.
Slowly with more precision I cut off my hair until it's short and patchy. I fill my hand with the dark brown mud around me and rub it on my head, until I’m sure that my blonde isn’t visible. Next I meticulously rip parts of my shirt and untuck it from my pants, so that it seems bigger. I’m naturally flat chested and my shirt is baggy so I’m not worried about that. After ensuring that my weapons are concealed I rub some dirt on my face and hands. I need to blend in. It’s my only chance at surving. Leaning my back against one of the brick buildings behind me I close my eyes and fold my arms across my chest.
Tomorrow I’ll begin again, everything will be fine.
                                                                                                   * * *
I wake up before the sun is even in the sky and peek out of the alley I'm in to see if anyone has noticed me.
Once I'm in the clear I gather the torn pieces from my shirt as well as my cut hair and put in a pile at the back. Taking out the small silver lighter from my pocket I watch as everything burns away until there's nothing let but ash. Quietly I walk into the sleeping town and scan the area. It's small. Maybe too small but I have nowhere else to go at the moment so this will have to do.
As I pass by the closed stalls of food and clothing I quietly break the lock on one and grab out a bag of walnuts right at the front. Not wasting a second I quickly hurry towards the fields where the cattle is being kept fenced in.
Grabbing a large rock I place my bag of walnuts on the ground and smash them. Pouring the mixture over my head I take handfuls of water out of the animals trough and dump it on my head to make a dark dye. I rub it into my hair vigorously, making sure that not a single blonde lock of hair will remain. I wait a while for it to sit before I hop the fence and walk back to the town. By now the people are rising and slowly emerging from their homes one by one. When they spot me they pause and look at my pitiful demeanor before they turn away to start on their daily tasks. Suddenly a hand grabs my arm and I quickly twist it behind the strangers back until they let out a painfilled yelp and my eyes register the young face in front of me.
" Forgive me" I say, lowering my voice as I release the young girls arm.
" It's fine. I shouldn't have startled you".
The young girl has long oak colored hair with gentle blue eyes. Her lips are plump and pink and her cheeks are round with a healthy blush.
" I'm Calista" she says offering me her hand.
" I'm E-ric" I say, struggling to find a new name.
She beams happily.
" Nice to meet you Eric. What brings you here?".
I shrug my shoulders.
" My family all died and now I have no where to go".
I try to lie as little as possible or it becomes easy to confuse all the different identities I've had.
Calista covers her mouth with her hands and shakes her head.
" I'm so sorry. That must be very hard for you".
" It has it's moments".
We stand in silence for a moment until Calsita claps her hands together and takes one of mine in her own.
" You should have breakfast with my family! My father is in charge of our small town, I'm sure he'd love to meet you!".
" Thank you, but I'd hate to impose".
" It'd be no imposition, I really insist".
I allow myself to be led by this innocent young girl who is ignorant to the fact the she is allowing a criminal into her home.
We arrive at a small house crammed between two other homes. There's pots where flowers must have once been but is now filled with nothing but dry soil. When she opens the door and leads me in I find a very clean, tidy, and comfortable looking home.
Never in all my life have I lived or stayed in a house like this.
The delicious smell of bread and sausage fill my nose and my stomach grumbles loudly.
With a smile Calista leads me into the kitchen where her family is cooking together.
Her mother is a small woman with firey red hair and soft brown eyes. She turns at the sounds of our footsteps and smiles widely while she manuvers her way to get to us which proves difficult with her large pregnant belly. Upon seeing Calistas dad I immediantly understand where she recived her looks from. She is the spitting image of the tall strong man in front of the stove, helping his wife. Lastly there's a laughing little boy with messy red curls and a face full of freckles at the table coloring. He has his moms kind face and his dads blue eyes.
" Good morning" Calista says, planting a kiss on her mothers cheek before she goes to the stove to take over cooking.
I stand at the doorway until her dad comes over and hands me a plate.
" Don't be shy son, we've never been one to turn away a hungry neighbor".
" Neighbor? But I don't have a home here".
He just laughs.
" That makes no difference to me. I don't care where you came from or where you're going. You're here now and my door is open, you're my neighbor".
With ever second I stay in this home I feel like I'm being filled with their warmth and kindness.
How long has it been that someone has treated me like one of their own without an ounce of suspicion or malicious intent?
Yet part of me wonders if they're truly this kind... How could someone be so trusting and kind to a stranger they know nothing about? But then I look around at their home and smile to myself. They have yet to face the harsh reality that the world has forced on many others. They've been able to retain their blissful ignorance a while longer.
I nod my head and walk into the kitchen, taking a seat next to the boy.
" Hello".
He looks up at me and smiles.
" Hello. What's your name?".
" I'm Eric".
" Cool! I'm Atlas".
" Nice to meet you".
Atlas turns his picture towards me for me to see and points out the stick figures on the page one by one.
" This is my dad his name is Lyle. My moms name is Lena, that's Claista, me, and then the flower is for the baby my mom will have".
I smile at the picture and nod.
" It's beautiful".
" I know right!" Atlas says excitedly as he jumps up from his chair and hangs it on the fridge with a small magnet.
Before I can say anything else Ms Lena piles food onto my plate and hands me a fork.
" Dig in darling. If you need more after that it'll be up here".
I thank him and eagerly eat, grateful to finally fill my famished stomach.
Once I've eaten Mr Lyle pulls me aside and walks with me.
" Calista has informed me about the regrettable situation which brought you here. What I am wondering is whether you are passing through or if you would like to stay. Me and my family could take you in and I believe I could find some work for you around here. Only if you'd like of course".
I quickly nod my head and shake his hand.
" I would like that very much. Thank you sir".
He laughs.
" You're family now just call me Lyle".
I nod and he pats my shoulder.
" You're a very sesitive young man. The world has not been kind to you".
I blush at him unknowingly pointing out the fact that I don't act much like a boy and silently remind myself to control my emotions.
As Lyle leads me back into the house I feel a weight lift off my shoulders, thinking that I've finally escaped my troubles and fears...

But I should've known that I had brought the trouble and fear with me.