Empty Beauty

String of Events

The next morning, I couldn't concentrate on my schoolwork or any of my relationships, including the one I had with Nolian. I felt guilty because I wanted to be focused on him and not distracted by side drama or problems, but they always kept popping up for me, as though the universe were just reconfirming what I thought at first: you should have got to know him better. You shouldn't ignore the red flags. Why didn't you date Teo instead? You two would be perfect together, and there would never be this many problems, or if there were, he would validate your feelings and make the issues go away.
Why are you still dating him? I felt like I was fighting myself, but not just me against me. It was me against the negative voices inside my head. I would have gone to the counselor about this, but they'd claim me crazy, and rightfully so. This whole thing was crazy, and I wouldn't be caught dead sharing my problems with the counselor.
I now had to reconstruct my whole senior thesis, in hopes I could still attempt to make society better and share my perspective with them. The school was in the wrong hands; Camelia couldn't give public speeches as well as I could. She couldn't motivate people or show the proper emotion I could because she was heartless. Camelia couldn't lead the school in the direction that I could, and even if she could there was no way I could depend on someone who stands against everything I stand for.
Because she does not believe that beauty isn't everything, how could she possibly preach it to people? It was hypocrisy and a double-standard. She stole my idea to sabotage me and I had to do something about it. I would not let this slide. I had to take action now, or the rest of my life I would regret it.
I came to the lunch table, and I was more distracted than I had ever been. I couldn't focus on caring for everyone and having a good conversation, but I needed a break and needed time for myself .
"What's smokin' besties!?" Ryan slapped his lunch tray down on the table with his hat sideways, gave everyone a silly grin, and sat down with swagger, in a very over exaggerated manner.
Ivy side eyed him wearily, and the friendly (ish) banter began.
      Although I wasn't in a good mood, I was thankful for the comedic relief so I could focus on other things besides my own issues. Getting stuck in my feelings wouldn't help. I needed a break from it, so I could think of a practical solution and come back to it with clarity. Stewing in my emotions too long would never be good for me. I had to get it together and find a way to turn this bad situation around for good.
      "You look bisexual."
Thank goodness Venus was acting and feeling like herself.
"No," Ivy protested. "His mannerisms are getting gayer everyday. Ryan, do you like men?
      "Is there anything you want to share with us?"
"Not much. Just had to do a Power Point on Skibidi toilet for my class. It's been uneventful because our new teacher doesn't find my jokes funny. She's the first one to give me detention instead of validating my humor!
      "I have to crack this lady somehow. There's no way she's willingly that serious. I just know she's hiding something."
She shook her head playfully. Ryan was bringing out a very interesting side to her that she did not show to many people.
She was always very sultry and sarcastic with people. Around Ryan, she was more playful and in her element. At least, that's how it seemed. If there was one more secret romance I might scream. I was done with secret romances because they were always so complicated, especially in highschool.
Just as easily as they could make one happy, they could make one depressed. The only exceptions were Oku and Snowflower because those two were actually adorable. What was that look that Ivy gave him? I've seen that look before. It's the look that Teo gives me, although, sadly, I don't like him back.
Teo's look differs from Nolian's look in terms of emotion. I cannot quite pin point those emotions, but I'll describe it the best I can. Teo's look infatuated, sparkling, enchanted, mesmerized. Nolian's looked very kind, genuine, and intrigued by me.
It wasn't aloof, but the emotions seemed more honest, if that makes sense. This is the only way I can describe these looks.
"For your information, IVY, I am not gay or bisexual. I'm a straight man."
She stifled a giggle, and only continued to tease him. She seemed more bubbly and cheerful rather than cool and composed, which was very odd to see from her specifically.
"You seem so defensive about it. Are you sure you're not into men?"
Ryan took a moment to process what she was saying, locked eye contact, and smirked.
The whole table was quiet; we were all intrigued and entertained by their interaction, mainly to see if there would be any future romance that would develop or if they just loved each other like siblings and this was how they always joked around. I wasn't about to be one of those friends who's always trying to match couples.
"You seem very invested in my love life. Are you jealous? Think a handsome boy might steal me?"
She clasped her hand to her mouth in surprise and triumph. Rather than getting bashful, she started arguing and just ran with the entire plot. This conversation had gone on way too long but it was too entertaining to stop listening to.
"So you admit you're gay!?!"
"I'm not gay."
"So you admit you're bisexual!?!"
"No, I'm just teasing you. But seriously, why do you want to know anyways?"
"Why are you asking if you have nothing to hide?"
"I—I...." He thought for a moment but couldn't come up with anything.
"I stunned you 'cuz you know it's true."
Just as I was starting to enjoy my time with friends again and forget about my problems, Camelia butt in again, and decided to harass my lunch table, as though harassing me solo weren't bad enough. This was one of the best tests for my friends' loyalty and character. If they stuck up for someone innocent getting hurt, then it would reflect positively but if they did nothing, stood by, or even joined in, it would reflect poorly.
"How's your thesis coming, wallflower?"
Ryan smirked, remembering the first time she called me that and ended up losing her temper, making my entire class side with me.
"How's YOUR thesis coming, Shriek Beast Camel? At least she isn't the crazy flower that smacked into a wall. You should control your temper. And use original ideas.
"So not cool, dude. But I know she'll slay no matter what. By the way, is your shoe untied? Because you're really trippin' right now!" He began laughing hysterically but it was really awkward because nobody found it funny except him. It was a good joke, just really poor timing given the current situation.
       Yes, there were times to make light of bad situations, but this was one of the times where we had to face the bad situation and deal with it. Ryan had a hard time knowing when it was time to be serious, but at least he made some good points. Plus, we all were kind of enjoying the fact that a class clown was roasting miss popular. No, not the nice girl popular; the charter school kid Mean Girls plastics type of popular that was very stereotypical.
       "Anyways, it doesn't matter if you steal one or ten of Fuscia's ideas, she's still gonna kick your @$$ so have fun."
He smiled with fake sweetness, and then turned his back to her, him and Ivy in their own little sheltered world of friendly banter, while he was also scarfing down his food sloppily with awful table manners. He was a really funny guy, but he really picked the worst times to clown out on all of us. We were thankful for the comedic relief, but sometimes it just got really old. Isy and Mey tuned it out the entire time and set their gazes on Camelia, which made her insanely uncomfortable considering that the two most dangerous girls in school now wanted her blood basically.
      They were both openly morbid, but one was really sweet and helpful until you messed with her, and the other was mysterious, curious, and had a bit of a mean streak and maybe a couple red flags, when I continued to reflect on her character. Nobody would dare mess with them except Camelia. This girl had a death wish, but I refused to pay for her funeral. She was rich so her dad could pay instead, plus, her and I weren't that close, aside from the fact that she set out to make my life miserable ever since I set foot in this school.
       She was only one girl, and I would not let her take me down.
"What are you two looking at?" she retorted.
"Can you get a life or something?"
"My sincere apologies," Mey retorted sarcastically. "I find it easier to stare at things that are ugly.
      "And when you say get a life, do you mean ruining the lives of others or what? We're staring at you because you're an @$$hole, so why don't you go get a life and leave us alone?"
"That tears it!" she fumed. Once again, like de ja vu, she lost her temper, again, charged at someone, again, only this time, instead of me, it was Mey, one of the scariest girls in school. Instead of moving aside to make her look stupid, like I did, Mey fought back, and used her martial arts to put Camelia in a wrist lock, which only fueled the fire.
       "Let me go, you witch!!" she screamed hysterically. "I'm going to tell my parents!!"
Mey only laughed at her and twisted her even harder into the wrist lock, which made us get concerned, because we thought she was going a bit too far, and in addition, it was making a scene and people were staring at us now,  including the teachers. Nobody did anything; they just watched and some even found it amusing and started recording the exchange.
"I think you're projecting, Shriek Beast Camel."
"DON'T CALL ME THAT!!!" she screamed.  
         She's proving the name right, she's being immature, psycho, temperamental, having a meltdown, acting like a child... the list goes on. Instead of owning up to what she did, she continues to make it worse for herself and everyone around her. This girl is insane; her parents need to take her to a psyche ward or something. I wonder if she is bipolar...
"Listen," Mey said more aggressively now.
      "If you continue making a scene, I'm going to expose what your parents really did to get rich. Don't ask me how I know, but I know everything. I discovered our families go way back, and I have more than enough evidence to ruin you for good, so don't try me. You've made a fool of yourself today, and you should be embarrassed by your childhood behavior. I could have whooped your @$$ in more ways than one, so show me gratitude for my generosity.
      "This is your first and last warning. Stay the hell away from my friends."
She gripped her as hard as she could and dug her nails even deeper into Camelia's skin which made her wince. I know Mey was sticking up for me, but even I felt bad for Camelia. Yes, she had gone too far, but doing this was only stooping to her level. Was I being too sensitive or was the way that my friends handled "protecting" me becoming a bit out of line?
        "Do I make myself clear?"
"Okay!" she yelled back, and for the first time, she displayed a little bit of fear and remorse. It seemed genuine this time. Before I could step in and ask Mey to stop, she let her go aggressively, and threw her violently to the floor, which shocked us all, including Oku. The only person who seemed unaffected was Isotope; the entire time she had no reaction; she was just stoic.
       "Get out of my sight before I change my mind about you. You have made me so angry today. Get out!!" she hollered. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that her screams shook the entire school.
Camelia fled for her life, in tears, but rather than telling someone, she went to cry in the bathroom, since she knew nobody would side with her or comfort her. Before anyone could talk to Mey, she stormed off, leaving everyone in complete shock, horror, and uncertainty.