The Ink Blott Explosive

The Ink Blott Project

Agent Maria Blackmore's heart was a symphony of pulsations as she entered the clandestine headquarters of C.U.L.T. Since her graduation from the WORKS, she was eager to get started on everything. Squidllum, her peculiar companion, moved around her neck. She knew he was excited to see the outside world; being kept in a large aquarium was fun for him, but he quickly got bored. When Maria went to pick him up, he showed his displeasure by turning her hair a vomit green for three weeks. Maria compromised and told him he could come to work with her on Mondays and Fridays, but he agreed only if she brought him fresh squirrels. Maria's first day, in fact, was a Monday, and her companion was ready to go before she even got out of bed.

The organization, whispered about in the darkest corners of the intelligence world, was the kind of place where the impossible became Tuesday's to-do list. Maria, with her education in both the arcane and mechanical engineering, was the newest recruit in the Research and Development department. Her unique background and skills made her a valuable addition to the team, poised to tackle the innovative challenges that awaited her in this mysterious and high-stakes environment.

On her first day, she was ushered past a labyrinth of nondescript doors and down sterile, humming corridors to her new lab. She was greeted by a workspace filled with state-of-the-art equipment and a welcome note from the director that ended with, "Make us something explosive."

Maria, always one to take things both literally and to heart, decided her debut invention would be a blackout grenade – not an explosive that would simply snuff out lights, but one that would unleash an inky darkness to confound the enemy, inspired by nature's own master of camouflage: the giant squid.

She began sketching out plans for a device that, when detonated, would release a cloud of dense, black ink, blinding opponents and offering operatives the cover of night at the flick of a pin. The ink, she hypothesized, could be synthesized from the melanin-rich secretion of the elusive giant squid, combined with a concoction of chemicals to enhance dispersion and longevity.

The first prototype was ready within a week. Maria, with a mix of pride and anxiety, carted her creation to the testing field. The grenade was a sleek orb of promise as she pulled the pin and lobbed it into the designated test area. Instead of a tactical shroud of darkness, there was a pathetic 'pfft' followed by a tiny puff of what looked like overcooked calamari smoke. It hung in the air for a moment, then settled on the ground in a sad, inky puddle. The observing technicians, hidden behind reinforced glass, could barely contain their snickers.

Undeterred and slightly red-faced, Maria went back to the drawing board. She tweaked the formula, adjusted the pressure mechanism, and rolled out a second prototype. This time, when she threw the grenade, it erupted with the vigor of a thousand squids – except it was more of a geyser than a cloud. The jet-black ink shot straight up into the air and rained down on the entire testing field, Maria included. She stood there, dripping with irony and squid ink, as the laughter from the observation booth turned into a full-blown comedy act.

The third attempt was the charm, or so Maria hoped. She had balanced the chemicals perfectly, refined the dispersal mechanism, and even added a stabilizer to prevent premature eruptions. This grenade was going to work. She could feel it in her ink-stained bones.

With a dramatic flourish, she threw the grenade. It soared, it landed, and... it rolled. It rolled right back to Maria’'s feet with the stubbornness of a homing pigeon. She stared in disbelief as the grenade popped open, not with a bang, but with the sad whoosh of a deflating balloon. Black ink oozed out slowly, like a lazy river of disappointment. The technicians were in hysterics now, some of them literally on the floor, clutching their stomachs.

But Agent Blackmore was not one to be defeated.

Three Months Later:
The fourth iteration of Agent Blackmore's blackout grenade was what members of the R&D department would later refer to as "The Great Squidtastrophe." Maria, determined to correct her previous missteps, had introduced a new element to the ink mixture that was supposed to guarantee instant vaporization upon release. She had double-checked every calculation and cross-referenced the chemical interactions, but nothing could have prepared her for the calamity that ensued.