Gracie Dutton

2

Gracie stared up at her ceiling unsure on if she wanted to get out of bed and face the day or just stay hidden away in her room all day. She let out a sigh and threw the covers back. Gracie slid her feet into her slippers and made her way down into the kitchen. "Morning, Gracie. You hungry?" Gator greeted. Gracie gave him a small smile. "A little. Could you make me a yogurt bowl with granola and fruit please?" Gator nodded and she waited in the kitchen while he made it. She took the bowl from him, thanking him before she made her way into the dining room. She stood in the doorway for a moment as she saw John sitting at the head of the table reading over some papers. He turned to look at her. "Morning, Gracie." She walked over to her seat and sat down. "Morning," she said back, unsure of what to call him. She ate a few bites of her food, John watching her closely. "How'd you sleep?" He asked. She shrugged, "not very good." John let out a sigh. "Yeah, me either," he agreed. He wasn't used to this awkward air between them. They had a close relationship and John prided himself on how he was closer with her than his own children. Now he felt like he was back at square one, but he couldn't complain, he had a hand at the way Gracie is feeling. Before he could think of something else to say, Beth appeared in the doorway dressed for work. She froze in the doorway just like Gracie had when she saw her daughter seated at the table, her back to her. "Morning, honey," John snapped his daughter out of her trance. She looked at him and gave him a forced smile. "Morning, Daddy." Gracie turned her head to glance at her mother. "You hungry?" John inquired and Beth just shook her head. "Not hungry," she answered back. "Just came to tell you I have to go into the office. I'll be back for dinner." John nodded and went back to reading his papers. That left Beth and Gracie just staring at one another. Beth took notice that Gracie was still in her pajamas, but was eating breakfast. She didn't sleep, but had an appetite. Beth felt a little relieved by that. "I gotta get going. Have a good day, Gracie," she said. Gracie just nodded. "You too," she said quietly before turning back to her food, her appetite gone. Beth walked outside to her car and bit her lip. She felt like an idiot. Her and Gracie usually had no trouble talking to one another but there was this tension in the air and Beth couldn't stand it. She climbed in her car and drove to work. "Well, that was awkward," John chuckled and Gracie shot him a look. "What do you want me to do? Run up and hug her and beg my mommy not to go to work and leave me here?" She stood up and grabbed her half eaten bowl. "Last I checked, I'm grown. I don't need a mommy. Never have, never will." John sighed and watched Gracie walk out of the dining room. He knew deep down she needed a mom, but was trying to show she was invincible. 'She's just like Beth,' he thought with a shake of his head.
***
Gracie had ended up hanging out in her room most of the day. She was in bed on her laptop working on some schoolwork. She was enrolled in college classes online so she didn't have to leave the ranch. She was majoring in agricultural business operations with a minor in animal science. She was book smart and had a head for business, which she inherited from Beth, but a hands on feel and a love of animals and outdoors, which she got from Rip. She was currently in her 2nd year. Gracie was taking United States Agriculture Policy, Crop Science, Soil Science, & Agriculture Prices for her major. For her minor she was taking Reproductive Physiology and Ruminant Livestock Management. She worked hard in school because she wanted to be able to help in all aspects on the ranch, especially knowing she would have a piece of it someday. After she finished some assignments and didn't think her brain could take anymore, she got up and got dressed. It was mid afternoon at this point. She went downstairs and grabbed an apple from the kitchen then walked down to the stables. She smiled when she saw Ryan and Colby leaning against one of the pens, watching the other wranglers practice roping. "Hi," Gracie told them gently. Ryan turned to look at her and his face lit up. "Hi, Gracie. What are you up to?" He tried to seem chill, like there wasn't anything between them, but Colby wasn't falling for it. "I think I'm going to go for a ride. Need to clear me head." Ryan looked at her and his eyes held a worrying expression. Gracie just gave him a small smile. "I'm alright. Just a lot going on." Ryan wished he could pull her into his arms and help carry some of her burdens. "I'll go saddle up Blue," Colby offered and Gracie shot him a thankful smile. Rip was standing on the other side of the pen with Lloyd. Rip had his eyes trained on his daughter the second he saw her coming down here. Lloyd knew all along about Gracie being his daughter. "She got something going on with Ryan?" Lloyd asked Rip curiously. Rip sighed, "hell if I know." "I'll be back before dinner. But, in case I'm not, send out a search party," Gracie teased Ryan as Colby approached with her saddled horse. "That ain't funny, Gracie," he said seriously. She waved him off and got onto her horse, riding away from the wranglers. "Ryan!" Rip called out and Ryan walked over. "Yeah?" "Where is she going?" Rip asked. "Just said she was going for a ride. Said she needed to clear her head." Rip sighed and nodded.
***
Gracie had a spot that she believed she was the only one to know about. It was a part of the property that had a stream and a meadow and it was a peaceful place Gracie could call her own. She laid back in the grass and watched the clouds roll by. She thought about John, Beth, and Rip. She thought about what a mess it was in her head to try and sort through. She thought about school. She thought about Ryan. She didn't know how much time had passed but she knew she should probably get heading back. As she approached the stables, she smiled as she saw Ryan sitting outside waiting for her. "Told you I'd be back!" She called out, getting his attention. He smiled as he saw her and stood up. "How was your ride?" He asked as she climbed down. "Peaceful," she replied. He nodded and took the horse for her. "Thank you for waiting for me," she told him. "You don't have to thank me. I wanted to make sure you were okay." Gracie nodded her head gently. "I gotta go shower before dinner but can I come down and see you tonight?" She asked and Ryan looked at her. "Honey, are you sure you want to start being around one another in front of everybody?" He wanted to make sure she was doing everything at a pace she was comfortable at. "I'm sure. I don't want to hide anymore. I need you by my side." At hearing that Ryan pulled Gracie into his arms and held her close. "I'm right here, Gracie." She hugged him back and nodded. "I know."
***
In attendance at dinner was John, Beth, Rip, and Gracie. Gracie was wondering if she should have stayed out on her ride so she could miss this awkward dinner. Rip looked over at Gracie. "How was your ride?" He asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "It was good," she answered and took a sip of her water. "Ryan said you wanted to go clear your head," he continued. Gracie was praying that the floor below her would open and swallow her whole. Rip's statement got Beth and John's attention as they looked over at Gracie. "Yeah, I'm fine," she brushed it off, not wanting to talk about it anymore. She felt Beth's eyes trained on her like a hawk. "Who's Ryan?" She asked. "One of the wranglers," John answered. Beth just stared at her daughter. "May I be excused?" Gracie asked John. "No," Beth said. John looked at Beth then Gracie. "I wasn't asking you," Gracie said. John sighed and set his utensils down. "You can't run away from your problems, Gracie. We will still be here at dinner tomorrow night." Gracie shot a glare at Beth. "I'm not running away," she said defiantly. Rip sighed. "Can't we just have a peaceful dinner? I'm sorry I even brought up the damn ride." Beth looked at Rip. "Why are you sorry? All you did was ask how her ride was and show worry about her. She is the one being stubborn," Beth said. Gracie rolled her eyes. "I'm being stubborn? Says the woman who has never listened to anybody in her life." "Enough!" John said. Gracie immediately went quiet. "You're excused," he told Gracie. "Thank you," she said. She stood up and made her way down to the bunkhouse. John sighed and looked at Beth. "Don't start acting like her mother now, Beth. That isn't going to be how she accepts it." John got up and poured himself a glass of whiskey. Beth looked at her father. "I'm not trying to! But she needs to face the facts and talk to us. If she keeps everything bottled in, she is going to make it worse." Beth took a sip of her wine. Rip laid a hand on his wife's thigh. "She'll come around. This is hard for everyone."
***
Gracie found herself sitting around the table in the bunkhouse, Ryan teaching her how to play poker. She was having fun and it was taking her mind off of everything. Lloyd sent a text to Rip. 'Gracie is down here in the bunkhouse if you're looking for her.' Rip sighed as he read that text. "Gracie's down in the bunkhouse," he said allowed. Beth and John looked at him. "Why would she be down there?" John questioned allowed. "Because I bet she has a crush on Ryan," Beth responded. Rip sighed and shook his head. "Stay out of it," he told her sternly. Gracie laughed at something Jimmy had said. She sat back and looked at Ryan's hand. He smiled at her. "You cheatin?" He teased and Gracie quickly shook her head. "Thought we could become a team," she shrugged. Colby laughed. "There ain't no teams in poker!" He cut in. Gracie wasn't too bad, but she preferred just watching them play. "I think I might head back," she told Ryan after they finished yet another game. 'Was this all they did?' She thought to herself. Ryan nodded and got up. "I'll walk you." Gracie told the wranglers goodnight and walked outside. She shivered as the cool night air hit her. "Here," he said and handed her his jacket. "Thanks," she smiled. "So, how'd dinner go?" He asked as he walked beside her. "Terrible," was all Gracie said. "I don't know what they want. Do they want to be my parents? It's all so confusing!" Ryan sighed. "Gracie, why don't you ask them?" "I don't want to talk about it with them," she admitted. Ryan didn't talk about it further once he saw Beth sitting on the porch watching them. "Fuck," Gracie said to herself. "Here," she said and shrugged out of his jacket. "I'll walk up the rest of the way. I'll see you tomorrow." Ryan looked down at her. "Alright. Call me if you need something." Gracie just nodded. Once Ryan turned and started walking away she began walking up to the porch. "I'm assuming that's Ryan?" Beth asked. Gracie internally groaned. "Why do you care? You're not my mother." Gracie saw Beth flinch from the words Gracie spit at her but Beth quickly recovered. She shrugged and took a puff of her cigarette. "Just asking. He seems nice." Gracie nodded. "He is." She reached for the doorknob but stopped as she heard Beth say, "and Gracie, I am your mother. At least I want to be. I want to be there for you. Just know that no matter what, I love you." Gracie stood in shock. Beth wasn't the best at opening up and talking about her feelings. Gracie turned and looked at her. She didn't know what to say, being just like Beth, Gracie herself wasn't good at opening up. "Goodnight," Gracie said quietly.