Started With a Goodbye

CHAPTER ONE

I didn't know when our relationship began to crumble. Nagising na lamang ako isang araw na wala na. All the days that once were filled with different colors are now black and white.

Five years. Five years of beautiful memories resulted in this?

"Ikie, please . . ." We were both outside his condo. Nasa gilid ng kalsada. I was holding his hand, down on my knees. I was desperate to not want our fairytale-like love story to end. Am I selfish for not wanting to let go even if it's evident that it was both draining us?

"Please, Ikie. We promised not to break each other's hearts, right?" I cried. I could hear whispers from people passing by. But, God, I am too heartbroken to even give a damn. All I want right now is for Isaac to take back his words and tell me that he isn't really breaking up with me. That it was all a show, and he's actually going to propose to me.

But I was begging for almost twenty minutes and nothing had happened. He remained still, and his eyes weren't sparkling anymore like how they used to when we were together. Ang mga Mata niya na minsan na akong tinitigan na puno nang pagmamahal ay naging malamig na.

"Let go, Rina. Tapos na tayo. Wala na. Huwag mo namang ipahiya ang sarili mo," sabi niya na tila nandidiri sabay hila pabalik ng kaniyang kamay. Dahil sa lakas ng pagkahila niya ay muntik pa akong nasubsob, good thing my hands are not that weak, I managed to balance myself.

"Sabihin mo lang na hindi ka makipaghihiwalay sa akin, titigil ako." But instead of receiving an answer, he turned his back on me.

"Ikie!" I immediately stood up to grab his hand once again. Mabilis niya naman akong tinulak dahilan nang aking pagkatumba.

"Umuwi ka na, Rina!" puno ng awtoridad na pagkasabi niya.

Umiling ako. My vision was blurry because of the tears in my eyes.

"Tangina, Rina. Pakiusap, umuwi ka na. Tumigil ka na nga! Hindi mo ba ako naririnig? Break na tayo! Wala na, kaya umalis ka na! Huwag mo naman pang pahirapan ang sarili mo. At dito ka pa talaga sa condo ko nag-iskandalo!"

And with that, I knew that it was really over. Buong akala ko ay magkakaroon kami ng happy ending, but it turned out the opposite way.

Saan ba ako nagkulang? Was my love not enough for him? Nasakal ko ba siya sa pagmamahal ko? Ano bang nagawa kong masama? Nakahanap ba siya ng iba? Bakit ang bilis naman para sa kaniya na bitawan ang limang taon naming pagsasama? Gano'n-gano'n lang ba ang lahat para sa kaniya?

"Ikie. . ." I sobbed. Nakaupo ako sa sementadong daan habang hinahawakan ang dibdib. My chest was becoming heavy making me unable to breathe properly.

I could not believe that the man who introduced me forever was the first to break my heart. Isaac was the first man who was able to show me and let me feel what love is. Sa pagmamahal niya ay hinilom niya ang mga sugat na matagal ko ng tinatago, pero siya rin pala ang rason kung bakit muling nabuksan ang mga sugat na iyon. Hindi niya lang binuksan kung 'di dinagdagan niya rin.

I was so full of love that it slowly broke me. I was filled with an overwhelming amount of love that it became too much to bear.