More of Nothing, Less of You

15

#MNLYwp

15

IMESSAGE

Sainte >
June 20, 11:34 PM

Sainte
Are you still up?

Ba't gising ka pa???
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I can't sleep.

Imemention ko sana si Khali
Pm pala 'to
Bakit ka naligaw dito? Hahahaha
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Sainte.

Oh?

I don't fucking know.
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Ha???
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Nasaan ka?
Wala ka ba sa bahay?

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Fucking car radio hahaha
Seriously of all songs to play
On This Day

Hahahaha
Still stings a bit ah.

Hoy
Tatawag ako ha.
Nasaan ka?
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Wala
I just went out for a few drinks.

Magmamaneho ka na naka-inom???
Gago tadyakan kita diyan e
Nasaan ka nga?
Susunduin na kita

I'm okay
I'm here na sa parking ng condo.

At ABA
Tangina nito??? Santi
Paano kung naaksidente ka sa daan?

Hahahaha
It's okay. I'm okay.

Bakit di ka pa bumaba sa kotse mo?
Gabing-gabi na oh?
Santiago naman e

I don't want to go up.

Later na.
On This Day's still playing.

It still feels like yesterday.
I just want to stay here.

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Alam mo.

She was so beautiful in white. Walking down the aisle.
I just really wanted to cry all day on that day.

Santi
Tangina naman nito
Ilang bote ba nainom mo?

Huy
Santiago

Ano na?
Umakyat ka na ba ng unit mo???
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Baka ayaw niya noong bahay
Sainte.
Kaya ayaw ako uwian.

Baka sobrang laki.
Baka dapat hindi 'yun.
Baka wala kasing bulaklak 'yung vases.
Right. I'll buy tomorrow.
Lilac ha you remind me.
The prettiest ones

Julienne loves lilac.
She smiles when she sees things colored lilac.

Baka sakali
Uwian na niya ako.

Gago ka
Santiago
Ilan ininom mo???? Di ka naman tinatamaan
Ikaw pinakamataas alcohol tolerance sa atin

Tatawag na nga ako.
Uumagahin ka na riya'n
Bumaba ka na ng kotse mo hoy
Sasakalin talaga kita kapag na-carbon monoxide poisoning ka riyan

Sainte ayoko
The condo's fucking empty.

I'm married
Pero wala namang
Sumasalubong.

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Sometimes when I'm so tired from work.

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I forget there's no Julienne at home
Waiting for me to come home
And it just breaks my heart to walk right through the door.

Lights are off.
Condo's empty.

No Julienne smiling
Whenever I get home from duty

For four years.

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Hindi ko man lang kasi naranasan.
Kahit isang beses lang.
God kahit isang beses lang I'll be okay with it.
Maranasan ko lang, Sainte.

Santi
Ano ba'ng gusto mo?
Tatawagan ko ba si Ginny?
Sabihin mo lang kasi.
Ang bigat sa pakiramdam na ganito ka e.

Yeah go on.
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She won't be here.
It's okay.
I already know.

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Sainte
Sainte hahahaha fuck
On some nights
Whenever I wake up in the middle of the night
I would just wish I would wake up in the morning
With Julienne beside me.

Even for just a minute.
Kahit one minute lang. I'll just hug her and tell her how much I love her.
One minute.

Then I'll let her leave na.
Kung ayaw na niya sa akin

Kung ayaw niya na.

It's okay.
I'll be okay with a minute.
I'll just take the chance.
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Fuck it stings hahahaha
So fucking deep in my chest Sainte
I thought I'm okay with this.

Kakayanin ko naman kasi.
It has been four years like this

Pero bakit
Ganito.

Ano?
Ayaw mo na ba ituloy separation?
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I don't already know
I fucking forgot
How it feels like to have Julienne in my arms.
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Last time I felt her touch. Last time I felt loved.
Was four years ago
If I had known it would be the last time.
Sana 'di na lang ako pumayag, Sainte.

Na mag-New Jersey siya.

Fuck kasi
Sama na lang ako e.

Sainte.
Sama na lang ako.
Sana sumama na lang ako.

Tangina Santiago
Umayos ka nga
Pati yata ako paiiyakin mo

Ano nga
Sagutin mo ako
Ayaw mo na ba ituloy?

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Where she's happy.
I'll be okay.

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I don't know anything
But I just want my Julienne
Happy.
That's just what I know.
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