Monday, March 18, 2024
Who in the world decides to have a school celebration on a Monday?!
So, I showed up to school with my fabulously horrific crutches that are so in style, you should get yourself some (I swear, these things should be considered torture devices).
And all I heard that day were three repeated phrases...
1) "CRIPPLE!"
a. Laughing so hard at this one because one girl even said, "Oh, she crippled!" when I exited the band room
2) "Omg, what happened!?"
a. Why do I have to explain myself to everyone?
b. I went with the simple answer obviously- "One word- Soccer."
c. YOU AREN'T MY MOTHER!
3) "Not again..."
a. LMAO I'M SO AMAZING GUYS!
4) This wasn't really said, more asked, which is why it's not the main three but... PEOPLE KEPT ASKING FOR MY DAM CRUTCHES, LEAVING ME HOPPING AND SHAKING ON ONE LEG!
Anyways, it's just my luck that the day I pull up to the school with crutches, there's a behavioral celebration.
Our school celebrates good behavior and such, so if you get no office or bus referrals, you get to attend this magnificent (horrible) party where it's basically a free-for-all on the track, in the gym, and the gym lobby.
So, a lot of kids played basketball in the gym, but the first thing me and my friend did was go outside.
Scratch that-
A lot of people went outside too.
Dam people.
I braved the track and went around it with her before we went it, and before we went it, another girl was walking to opposite- ahem WRONG- way on the track and decided that suddenly getting in my face and shouting would be the most hilarious thing in the world for someone on crutches.
I think I 'bout pissed myself.
Nah, jk. But fr she scared me a lot and my friend,@a_story_a_day yelled back at her, "YOU DON'T DO THAT TO SOMEONE ON CRUTCHES!"
I love Astoria, buddy- that's not her real name btw. But I won't disclose her name unless she's okay with it.
Ok, pause story time for a moment-
Current time:
I'M FREEZING MY ASS OFF RIGHT NOW SEND HELP WHY IS MY HOUSE LIKE AN IGLOO RIGHT NOW!?
Monday, March 18, 2024
Alright, I just needed to get that out of my system.
Anyways-
We went into the gym lobby because we were starting to get hungry and the concessions stand was in there. And there we saw some other friends, talked, got my skittles, and moved along.
So, we went back into the gym afterwards, and I think the only reason I didn't get hit by any of the multiple basketballs flying around was due to Astoria's pressence.
But then the ONE TIME I leave her side to go throw away my skittles trash...
BAM!
Two dudes landed on my left crutch, trying to shoot the ball into the net.
SMACK!
A ball hits my left arm.
WHACK!
A DUDE RAMS INTO ME AND TACKLES THIS OTHER GIRL THAT WAS PLAYED, CAUSING ME TO STUMBLE TOWARDS THE WALL!
Like buddy....
Astoria saw what was happening and quickly rushed to meet me at the trash can and guided me back to the bleachers.
AND I DIDN'T
GET
HIT?!
She's a lifesaver, I swear-
Anyways, after a while, we were starting to decide whether or not she should buy fries from the concession stand and so we went over and saw one of my other friends (Also my ex, but whatever) standing outside the concessions area.
He decided to join us and keep us company, before asking, after a while of talking, if he could try my crutches.
So when I was giving him my crutches one at a time, when he recieved the first one, I held it in a certain manner before a realization dawned on everyone but me.
He then said, "I just realized what this looks like."
And it took me a moment to see it.
So when I saw it I said, "OH- GUN!"
And you know what couldn't have happened any worse?
One of the teachers at are school is like, one of those hardcore ex-military people that everyone respects. So, right as I said that, guess who decided to walk past us.
LISTEN BUDDY I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS GOING TO SPAWN!
I was legitimately so scared that he was going to get on to me for saying it and I felt like I might get murdered.
SCARIEST DAY OF MY LIFE!
But, luckily, he either didn't hear me, or he just chose to pass right on by and ignore a couple of idiots who just happened to see crutches in a way they weren't meant to be.
We're so special, guys-
YOU ARE READING
My Crutches Stories (True stories)
HumorOKAY! So, you're going to get a peek at how my life went down during the two weeks I was on crutches. This involves my unfortunate thoughts, feats, and tumbles down flights of stairs and doorways to classrooms. I'm doing this on a whim mostly becaus...
