i can't want you (i'm taking you anyway)

part 20

Taylor's POV

I knew it was a mistake to walk away the second I had. I knew it was a mistake to say those words the second they'd come out of my mouth.

"Maybe we're not safe with you either."

That wasn't true. Travis had been there when it mattered, and yes, he'd done a truly terrible thing, but he'd never turned on me. He'd turned on the man who had turned on me. As much as that scared me, I knew he'd only done it to keep me safe. I shouldn't have said what I did. 

Fighting tears, I placed Ronan's box in the corner of the room and straightened up, my eyes settling on where she was fast asleep on one side of the double bed. I watched her breathe for a few minutes before wiping my eyes, turning back for the door. Travis didn't deserve this. I needed to apologize to him. I couldn't turn back time, but I could accept it. Maybe he'd done it in the heat of the moment, or maybe he'd planned it, but he'd done it for me. It was awful, but I knew why he'd made that choice. And Drew wasn't dead. That would have been a completely different story. As much as I suddenly hated him, I wasn't the kind of person to wish death on anyone.

"Travis?" I couldn't hear him as I went back out to the living room. He wasn't there, and I pressed my lips together as I turned back. I went down to his bedroom and tapped lightly on the door. "Travis?" I sighed. "Travis I'm sorry. Can we talk about this?"

There was no answer, but I wasn't surprised. I'd gone too far with what I'd said, and he had every right to be mad at me. I knocked again. Nothing.

"Travis?" I murmured. 

I pushed on the door handle, and it swung open. Travis wasn't in his room and I sighed to myself, about to turn away before something caught my gaze. My eyes settled on his bed, on something silver draped around one of the posts on his headboard. It twinkled in the faint moonlight coming through his window, and my breath caught. No, it couldn't be.

Swallowing, I crept forwards. I knew I probably shouldn't be in his room without him, but I wasn't even thinking about that as I walked around his bed. Reaching out, I let my fingers brush the little teddy bear charm. Taking it between two fingers, I ran my thumb over it in awe, very aware of how loudly my heart was beating. He'd kept it. He'd kept it, this whole time.

"Teddy?"

I jolted in surprise, my hand falling away from the necklace as my eyes shot up. My breath caught at the sight of Travis standing just inside the room, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped low around his hips. We stared at each other.

"What are you doing?"

"I..." I swallowed. "I came to apologize. I...I didn't mean what I said, and I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay Teddy, you had every right to be upset." Travis sighed. "I should have talked to you, but I was just thinking of keeping you and Ronan safe."

"I know you were." I whispered. "And I appreciate that, I really do, but you could have gone about it another way." I couldn't change what he'd done, but I knew I had no reason to be scared of him. Travis nodded. "Just..." I paused. "Maybe don't do it again."

"Only when I have to Teddy." Travis told me, and I pressed my lips together. "I'm sorry for doing what I did, but I'm not going to pretend I wouldn't do it again."

Fuck. I released a breath at the tone of his voice, my heart pounding. Then my eyes flickered back to his headboard, to the necklace hanging there. Slowly, I reached out and touched the charm again, unable to tear my eyes away from it.

"You still have this." I whispered.

"Of course I do." He didn't say anything else. I wanted him to, but I didn't want to ask. Travis seemed to understand that. "I tried to throw it out so many times." He sighed. "But I couldn't. It was like accepting I'd never see you again, that I'd never be able to tell you how sorry I was for everything I did."