Smoking- my experience

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Just one more it'll be all right
I'll be done one day when it's light
I promise you that I'll be okay
My lungs are free for another day

Just one more and I can't quit
"I'll stop when I want to" is total shit
I think I need another hit
This wasn't the only one that I lit

I want a cig
I want a fag
I need a drag
I need a pass
I need to breathe
I need to feel
This has to stop
This is real

If I stop then I'll gain weight
If I stop I won't feel great
My brain tells my body lies
But my heart knows that
smokers die

If I don't stop then I'll get cancer
I feel less like a human and more of a dancer
I'm dancing on ice that's soon to break
My eyes are tired, my fingers ache
and my hair's messed up, my body hurts
I lay back, look into the night and sit in the dirt
Can you believe I got this far
You think I would've stopped the minute I smoked from a jar
Or the time I saw someone cough up tar
But I kept going
I kept blowing
And inhaling
Even when I was failing
And trailing -behind in life
I couldn't fight the urge to get high
To get the buzz and fix that hole
Inside myself
my god have I lost myself
What have I done
where have I gone
I feel like a new born fawn
Because I can't walk and I can't eat
I can barely even sleep
And when I sleep I don't dream
I just want smoke and I cannot scream for help
Because my lips are sealed shut
By the glue that sticks the rolling paper together, my spit
Is now brown
my teeth haven't yellowed but I always wear a frown not a gown
Like the girl I used to be
What happened that one week
Now I'm an addict, resigned to the fact that even once I quit I'll never really quit and I'll always want what I can't have.
Cigarettes, and my original happiness.

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