(Mis)matched || {WOOSAN}

chapter 9: From Afar

San looked down at the road from his balcony. Nothing seemed interesting enough.

Not his anatomy, radiology or medicine books. Hell, not even spending time with his friends or even singing, which reminded him of the music festival. Everything somehow had a trace of him, as if his scent was everywhere, his thoughts and words scattered in the air and his touch lingering on his cheek.

But that all wasn't real. It was just his imagination.

His mind was too clouded. He was varying between crying, being stoic and being emo. All because of Wooyoung. He had decided to take Seonghwa's advice seriously.

Confessing to his nearly decade long love was not easy. Even for his hard headed self, it was a bit too much. Especially when he had long known that his feelings were too insignificant for him to return the same sentiments.

Pretending to be a fuckboy, Wooyoung had really become one. San knew that Wooyoung wasn't into him.

But, for the first time, he took someone else's advice. And instead of his heart feeling lighter, it just felt more and more suffocating.

To the point where he'd drink for the first time in his whole life.  He'd drink again and again, not enough to get him knocked out or hungover badly, but just enough to get him distracted.

He'd call Seonghwa up to pick him, who would just shake his head at him, highly disapproving his actions, but never speaking it out, because he knew how it felt to get your heart broken so bad that it'd be beyond repair.

He had seen it in San's eyes, his body language, engraved in his heart, though he tries not to make it obvious, there lies the same emotion, the same feeling that joined him and Hongjoong together: love.

He tried to talk to him, even sometimes encouraging his boyfriend to do so, over the phone, so that he doesn't strain his body. And of course, he spilled everything in front of Hongjoong, because he understood.

But, San, he had completely closed himself off. He tried to hide what he felt by day, dismissing Seonghwa's words by saying that he knew of the rejection long ago. He tried to bury himself in his books, saying that his heart could wait, but the books were piling up on his head. It wasn't true, it was all wrong.

But then, by night, he'd drink.

It was a simple white lie San told himself. Of course, he had been bothered about it. He needed to talk about it. But, this was San. He didn't talk about stuff that bothered him.

Seonghwa was very distressed seeing his usually unbothered and stoic friend in such a depressed state. Jaeshin was concerned too, he felt as if San's soul has left him, leaving a person whom he was unfamiliar with, not the guy who'd brag about his knowledge or even sometimes flex his muscles. Not the guy who'd get excited when he saw a good scoop of mint chocolate. He wasn't the guy who was the only one who had the guts to call him out when he did something wrong, neither was he the guy who he loved to annoy.

Jaeshin missed his friend, who he realised was his best friend, best homie that he truly needed. His brother. No matter how much he tried to talk to him, San would either brush it off or give one word answers, he cried a lot too, though he hid it really well.

He knew Seonghwa knew something more, but seeing him in a dismal state too, he avoided the topic. Funny, the most popular guy lost both his good friends and he doesn't even know the reason and he had a feeling that it was because of a heartbreak, no matter how much of brain he anatomically lacked.

Jongho, well, he was too busy to keep up with such affairs. Jongho was occupied with his new boyfriend, their relationship only known to Wooyoung. His name was Kang Yeosang.