How yesterday might hurt

Me and Hannah are sitting on my bed preparing to go to sleep with our playlist playing in the back the she started again with the party .<come on Pep this will be fun!> fun? She has a funny idea of fun. <Its not something i would do Han and you know it.> <pleasee do it for me im not gonna be around any longer only this summer i wanna have fun with you.> Oh yea, as if i would forget that. I just can't understand why she would move so far away i mean isn't that scary at all for her? Not a Single person she knows, a completely new start. I was lucky enough that my mom is close with hers or else i would have needed to survive Highschool without anyone. Han is my only friend, talking to others never was a strength of me. Not at all. Ill rather die than to talk to a stranger even if it means ill get lost and starve to death because i was to stupid to charge my phone. And now she wants me to go on a party? With a whole room full of sweating, smelling, drunk and high people with who knows what. That is too much of a risk to get talked at put playing the im moving card is unfair she knows i cant say no now. <But what if i-> she interrupts me mid sentence < what if the world burns down tomorrow and you are the only person alive> <Altlast ill be alone also how impossible is it that i alone survive how? Do i have a fire resistant house or?> <pep you know what i mean> I nodded not able to bring a word up. <your behaviour is self destructive and not healthy at all, a night out wont damage. And you need new people to get you out of your house, I can't always be here for you. I wanna see the world but i cant with a bad feeling that you a rotting in this place. Please Penelope. For me>  Her using my full name is rare. You can see the worries written on her head. I let it sink a little in. It is important to her really and i don't want her to worry that much about me so i give in eventually <Fine, ill go with you > <AAA THANK YOU PEP YOUR THE BEST> She almost killed me with that scream. <ye ye calm down> she Looks at me shocked but the giggles silently as if to say yea right now way Ill calm down I finally convinced you that is a reason to party. <when is the party?> i ask hoping i had some time to mentally prepare myself. <Tomorrow > she said with a smile as wide as her mouth could. Great tomorrow so no mental preparing, I can just now start to shovel my 6 feet hole. I dime the light <that alright?> i ask <like always. Hey do you wanna go shopping tomorrow don't worry not only for the party> oh i didn't even think about what i will wear <sound good to me> <great then good night pep> she smiles at me and turns around to go to sleep. <good night han> I smile at her tho she cant see it. Then i turn around too and try to sleep for now.