Jungkook's Lessons: A Tale of Hidden Desires and Unspoken Love
Emily's world turns upside down when her best friend of eight years, Jungkook, asks for her help in a deeply personal way. Desperate to prepare for an important trip to Korea, he wants h...
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As I stood in front of my mirror, I felt a growing sense of unease. It was Sunday, just before four in the afternoon, and Jungkook had said he would come over to talk about everything with me. After my message the night before, he called me, and we agreed to meet here at my place. I was still not entirely sure if this whole study group idea was really a good one, but if I could help him and at the same time satisfy my longing for him a little, I would give it a try.
I knew it wouldn't be easy because no matter what he planned to practice with me, I would need all my strength to resist him as best as I could and suppress my feelings for him. I had known for a few years now that I liked him more than just a good friend, but since he never gave me the feeling that he felt the same way, I never allowed myself to get my hopes up.
And when I saw him with girls at parties, flirting with them or giving them compliments, I knew anyway that I had no chance. Jungkook is extremely attractive, so it always surprised me that he apparently hasn't had any sexual experiences yet. How can someone so beautiful still be untouched?
In any case, I decided not to start practicing today. Today, I would first want to know exactly what he expects from me and how far he intends to go with me. To be honest, it feels a bit strange to me that even though he has a girlfriend, he wants to try these things with me.
The whole situation is not only very intimate but also fundamentally wrong towards his girlfriend. If I help him, does that make me a bad person? Because in short - I am helping him cheat on his girlfriend and then lie to her afterward.
Besides, I wasn't even sure if I was the right person for this undertaking. Sure, I had some experience in this regard, but I was by no means a professional. My entire knowledge is based on two months with Alex and otherwise on what I've seen in movies and read in books.
I used to think I would share these experiences for the first time with Jungkook, but back then I was naive enough to think we would eventually get together. Now he has Isuel. And I had given up the thought of ever being with him.
Of course, I still have feelings for him; they will probably never truly go away. As the saying goes, you never forget your first love. But I simply don't have the strength to fight for him or show him how I really feel. The fear of losing him is far too great for that. So I prefer to keep my mouth shut and watch from the sidelines.
I just wish for him to be happy, whether that's with me or someone else.
When I snapped out of my thoughts again, I looked at my outfit in the mirror once more. I hadn't worn anything special, just black leggings and a white oversized sweater. I didn't want him to think I had dressed up just for him - even though I had spent two hours in the shower earlier, scrubbing every inch of my body carefully and removing every little hair. Just to be sure. I didn't know how eager he was and how quickly he wanted to get everything over with.
