Symphony of Shadows

8. Sails

TW: Mentions of SA

Astrid had been sailing across the smooth archipelago sea for a while now and as she stood at the helm, her thoughts scattered like the gentle ripples the boat left in its wake.

It had been a while since she had last left Berk, around four years ago. She had been sent to do some reconnaissance on the Outcasts who had been stirring up trouble by disrupting Berkian fishing boats. Astrid had been told to not blow her cover under any circumstances, as more animosity between Berkians and Outcasts was to be avoided.

Under the cover of darkness, she had invaded a camp of snoring Outcasts and crept into Alvin the Treacherous' tent while he lay sleeping, none the wiser. What she found on his desk had saved Berk from a potentially nasty invasion and her efforts in retrieving Alvin's plans were highly rewarded.

Yet, while everyone on Berk was praising her bravery and capability, Astrid had come back from Outcast Island scarred. Not visible to the eye, though, she had a wound on her soul. See, before she had been able to completely leave the camp with the plan in tow, she had been discovered by an Outcast sentry. Astrid had to think quickly in the moment and saw no other option but to say she was a fisherman's daughter and was lost. She remembered kindly asking the wretched, burly man to escort her to the docks, but she could never forget the malevolent smile that brute gave her.

He had taken a hold of her arm gruffly and Astrid had known what would happen as soon as she saw the dark corner he was taking her too. She tried to plead with him instead of revealing her identity but he had just covered her mouth with a grimy hand. Astrid remembered her heaving chest and the savage's roaming hands palming her skin, which still made her nauseous to this very day. Before the sentry could pull her pants down, she gave him a swift chop to the throat and the man was on the floor heaving.

Astrid had made quick work of the devil with her dagger, but avoided drawing too much blood so she wouldn't leave a messy trail. She had dragged his mountainous body over to the docks where her boat had been waiting, bound his wrists and legs, and attached a large boulder to his torso. Astrid had pushed the rock over the dock with a smile as she watched his body get dragged over the wooden planks and into the icy sea.

Her satisfaction sadly hadn't last long as the ordeal had been the closest she'd ever felt to helpless. When she had returned to Berk, she felt so disgusted with herself, she refused to eat anything other than broth for weeks. Everyone was confused why fearless Astrid Hofferson had become a living skeleton, but she knew what they would say if she had confessed what had truly happened on that island. The village would have seen her as stained and her hard earned respect would have vanished. They would have seen her as broken.

So, she kept quiet and after a couple of weeks she slowly gained her appetite, faking a recovery. Deep down she knew she wasn't better, but Astrid never wanted to give that rat eating troll the satisfaction of ruining her. She moved on with her life but had realized a valuable lesson that day that men were takers. They took what they wanted and they took what they couldn't have. Men thrived on power and control, so they took any ounce of control women had until they dominated.

Astrid always felt self-conscious about her appearance, torn between wanting to feel beautiful and not wanting to attract the wrong attention. She was constantly doubting the motives of the men around her but that uncertainty had brought her closer to Ingrid who had empowered her through training. Since that dreadful day, she had avoided being alone in a closed space with a man as much as she could. When she had to partner with Snotlout in the Berk Guard for sentry duty, she felt revolted by his suggestive comments and had told him to shove his own nasty tongue up his ass if he wanted some action.

She hadn't been romantically involved with anyone, partly because of the incident but mostly because she hadn't the time with all of her training and Guard duties. Ruffnut would retell her all of her romantic endeavors and Astrid would laugh at Ruff's hysterical reenactment of seeing Snotlout naked for the first time. She felt truly happy for her friend when Ruff had decided to choose both the domestic and work life by marrying Jonston, the village baker, and design weapons with Tuffnut. Astrid chuckled to herself at the memory of Ruffnut's crazy antics but felt her heart pang at the realization that she hadn't seen the closest person she had to a best friend in over a month. Ruff had asked to come over several times but Astrid had brushed her off for training as the days became closer and closer to Assignment and her nerves grew. She should apologize to Ruff when she came back, maybe she would find a good apology gift at the market when she wasn't busy.

The sun was farther down the sky, so Astrid knew she was getting close to her destination. She donned her hood and pulled up her mask, catching sight of a slip of land. Astrid didn't want to risk being identified by the dragon rider who had most probably caught sight of her hair or face during his raid, so she made sure to make herself unidentifiable. Except for her eyes, she was fully covered, offering ultimate stealth and secrecy.

She went into the cabin and stretched out the old bed rolls her family kept in storage to prepare her sleeping space. Odin knew she wasn't going to pay for a rat infested room at one of the taverns.

The strip of land grew larger and larger until she was looking at the exact description that was in her report: crawling with merchants. There were sailors and merchants everywhere, some women but mostly men and Astrid groaned at the thought of being trapped in a crowd full of grimy men, but she would make do. She couldn't blow her cover but if anyone got too handsy, they wouldn't live to tell the tale.