PCG: OH COME OFF YOUR GODDAMN HIGH HOOFBEAST.
CCG: *MY* HIGH HOOFBEAST??
CCG: HOW ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FUCKING SOAP BOX.
CCG: DID YOU FORGET HOW BADLY YOU FUCKED UP?
CCG: WELL JUST IN CASE YOU DID, LET ME REMIND YOU, BECAUSE APPARENTLY YOUR BIGGEST MISTAKES CAN JUST SLIP THROUGH YOUR THICK NUG BONE, YOU SHIT FOR THINK PANS.
"oh nah, not this shit again" you think to yourself, who are you? you might ask. To that you have to say, why the one and only David Elizabeth Strider. Dave works fine though. As of late you've been stuck in a laboratory in space for about point ninety-two sweeps, sorry you mean about two years. Another amazing perk of having to be stuck on a meteor for four years is that you cohabit with a bunch of grey skinned aliens, which at the moment are really getting on your last nerve.
The angry key clicking of Karkat Vantas is currently interrupting your sweet jam session. You take your headphones off, pausing your sick beats to get up to tell him to shut it. Karkat is hunched over, visibly agitated and unconsciously bouncing his leg up and down.
"yo Karkat.. you good?" you speak, only to have your begrudging concerned words fly over his head. Bright blueish-white coats his face, his candy red eyes locked onto the screen. "Kaarr-kat?" you don't have to question for long because you see a username that you know all too well.
PCG: YOU ABSOLUTE IMBECILE. HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU GET SO MORONIC IN SUCH LITTLE TIME.
PCG: ALL YOU FUTURE KARKAT'S ARE THE SAME.
It's past Karkat. pure time shenanigans, your personal specialty and Karkat's own personal nightmare.
"KARKAT!" you yell as you jostle his chair. "JEGUS FUCK!" Karkat screams as he falls out of the chair and onto his ass, finally realizing you're there.
"UGHH.. WHAT IN THE EVERLASTING FUCK DO YOU WANT?? CAN'T YOU SEE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING?" He grumbles, quickly getting back on his feet. "if what you're in the middle of is being annoying as shit then you're mastering that" you quip, backing up from Karkat as he sits back in his seat. Karkat scoffs loudly. "OH I'M SORRY ARE MY INTERPERSONAL CONVERSATIONS A BOTHER TO YOUR DISGRACE TO SLAM POETRY, OH SORRY I MEAN SICK FIRES." Karkat throws up his hands forming quotation marks. "oh hell no, do NOT disrespect the d-stride name like that man, these fires are so sick that they're sneezing and sniffling all over the place" you cross your arms in retaliation. "I WILL IN FACT DISRESPECT THE D-STRIDE NAME AND TO ADD INSULT TO THAT INJURY I COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT HOW SICK YOUR FIRES ARE."
The ding of a message ping interrupts you before you had the chance to retort.
Karkat emits a familiar loud groan. His past self, specifically before he met you or any other humans, is continuously trolling his current self. "GODDAMINT HE IS FUCKING RELENTLESS. ALL THESE PAST KARKAT'S THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING. GET A LOAD OF THIS GUY DAVE." He flails a hand at you motioning you come closer. "what- dude no i do not wanna get in on this, i'm not trying to be your auspicpiss or whatever" you roll your eyes underneath your radiator shades. "NO, WHAT?? I.. JEGUS DAVE. UGH- FINE!!!! JUST GET ON ONE OF THE OTHER THE COMPUTERS I'LL ADD YOU TO THE CHAT." He looks back at screen, starting type once again. "dude seriously i want no part in this." You tell Karkat to no avail. "TOO LATE, JUST ADDED YOU." He presses the enter key dramatically, an on cue ding following it. "you gotta be kidding me." you groan pulling out the chair next to him pulling up a newly created chat, with yourself, TurntecGodhead, Past CarcinoGeneticist and Current CarcinoGeneticist. "If it'll make you any quieter." you grumble.
PCG: OH WELL ISN'T THIS JUST FUCKING PEACHY, EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEEDED ACTUALLY!
PCG: TO BRING SOME ASSHOLE HERE TO YES-MAN YOUR EVERY WORD TO INFLATE YOUR NON EXISTENT EGO.
CCG: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU IGNORANT SHIT SPONGE.
TG: so what are you guys even arguing about
PCG: ARE WE REALLY GONNA RE-RUN ALL THIS SHIT BACK, SERIOUSLY WHY ARE THEY HERE.
CCG: FOR YOUR UNWORTHY INFORMATION, HE'S HERE TO MONITOR YOUR COMPLETE AND UTTER LACK OF INCOMPETENCE AND GENERAL IDIOCRACY.
PCG: THAT IS RICH COMING FROM YOU, IT MUST BE RAINING BOONDOLLARS FROM THE SKY BECAUSE OF HOW RICH YOUR WORDS ARE!
YOU ARE READING
Time Shenanigans And Quadrant Vacillation
RomanceKarkat is being trolled by himself from the past and his frustration is interrupting Dave's jam session, Dave tries to put a stop to it all and just ends up in the middle of it all.
