Spaceship Situationship

02 - Kari

6:50 - Observatory Rooftop
56 Cretan Days to Landing
Kari Z-64

"Why are you buttering your croissant?" I wrinkle my nose in disgust as Kassia, who is sitting across from me, is trying to enjoy her breakfast.

"What's wrong with putting butter on my croissant?" she asks innocently.

"Croissants are literally made of flakes of butter piled on top of each other," I tell her, my voice filled with displeasure. "Why are you slathering another layer of butter on butter?"

She stares at me with wide eyes as she slowly and silently brings the buttered croissant towards her, and bites off half of it. She attempts to finish chewing it just as slowly and silently, but she bursts into laughter and chokes on it. Rina automatically hands her a glass of water, and Kassia swallows it down before lying down on the ground, feigning death.

"That's what happens when you sin," I say.

Rina gives me a look of disapproval, which is basically her resting face, and shakes her head, turning her attention back towards her own breakfast.

The three of us are currently having a picnic on the rooftop before the second test, but it's hard for me to eat. I didn't think I would be so nervous, but after the last round where I uselessly passed out, I'm especially stressed out. Even though everyone else in Z-64 doesn't blame me, I can't help but feel awful.

I'm scared of how invested I am in this exam.

I want to make a contribution today. I can't be unneeded. I'm afraid of being dead weight.

My food stands untouched in front of me. There's a slice of whole wheat toast holding a sunny side up egg, and next to it is a bowl of fruit salad, consisting of ananabs and sour strawberries. In an attempt to not look out of the ordinary, I stab a strawberry and bring it towards me, but as soon as I catch a whiff of its sickeningly fruity scent, I feel like gagging. My stomach, which is currently empty, seems to burn, and as I become more conscious of how nervous I am, my heart starts beating faster.

When it comes to the word 'expectation', a lot of things have changed since the first round.

Although it wasn't broadcasted, the rumour mill started turning as soon as someone caught wind of the way we blew up a wall. All of a sudden, people I don't know and don't want to know have been walking up to me and congratulating me on Z-64's success.

Not only do I feel like I deserve none of it because I did nothing, I also get angry.

The other Psychology Specialists have started talking about me, despite previously ignoring my existence completely. But I can feel that they aren't really trying to get to know me; they just want to be able to say that they know me. There's a huge difference.

I feel such a mesh of negative emotions about it all that I can't think straight.

"Are you going to eat that?" Kassia asks me, gesturing at my fruit salad.

"No, take it."

Rina reaches over and puts her hand on my forehead. "Do you feel sick? You haven't had an appetite since the first round. Should we head to the Med Bay for a checkup?"

She noticed that I was feeling off. I feel at once overwhelmingly happy and sad, but instead I say, "I'm fine."

Kassia leans over, holding a fork impaling a strawberry, and waves it in front of me.

"Eat, or you won't have any energy," she states strictly. "If you don't feel sick, then eat."

I glare at her, grumbling. "I'm not hungry."