Blue Sun/Late Spring

Chapter Three

The brave Chewy-Hi cut the wall of water as he saved my little soul. Oh you brave soldier, is your compass broken? Do you even know where to go? The compass of your heart doesn't even seem to know if it should point north or south. Where do you belong? My brave Chewy-Hi, you are lost. Who can save you now? Who should save you, if you don't even know of what faith you want to be saved of?

As Noa steps back into the small living room a thin mattress with some thick blankets made out of wool are already set up near the fire place. The woman with the friendly smile is setting the table and the girl he met in the heavy rain sits at it, watching her mother. Noa didn't mean to stay at the family's small house and be a burden, but as the woman offered it and water was even dripping from the lashes that framed his almond shaped eyes, he didn't have the strength to resist. As the house had come into sight earlier the woman had been running out. She had been crying out of relief and sent a prayer to Moella, the goddess of love and security. The same uncomfortable feeling had stuck to him ever since then, even now as he watches the three kids running around her and her occasionally petting the head of one of them while the girl passionately speaks about her day and the great saving of the brave Chewy-Hi, the brave savior. It is the dialect of people closer to the border, influenced by the troops of Shen that had tried to gain the region back a decade ago. Noa watches the scene from the door, his damp hair falling over his shoulders. 

When he started to grow it out at 15 all the other guards had laughed at him; telling him that it made him look like a woman. They knew nothing. In Leolà, where he lived, it wasn't appropriate for men to wear hair beneath the ear, but he didn't care. Ever since he learned that the men of his land wore their hair in long ponytails, he let it grow to wear it in said ponytail, to have at least something he could cling onto, something to know he belonged, or did he? 

"Sit down", the voice brings him back to reality, the woman smiles at him friendly and he mirrors her expression politely, "Thank you." The family is poor, there is no denying, the house is way too small for the family of four, their clothes have been patched multiple times and the stew that is served is a military recipe. Still they all seem happy, as they chat and eat the stew. Maybe that's what this uncomfortable feeling creeping through Noa is. Back in the capital he never needed to worry about not having enough food or not enough wood in the cold months. But despite eating with six other guards in the barracks each night it never felt like, like...family? Noas throat closes at the thought of that, as he watches the happy family from an outside perspective, as if he was standing in front of a blurry window. "Traveling to the east border? That is a long journey. Where are you from again?", the woman asks friendly but Noa doesn't really appreciate her try to let him take part in the conversation. Still he replies friendly: „The capital." „Oh, I see, that is indeed a long journey." „I hate the capital!", the girl across from Noa replies as she is crossing her arms. „Hey, don't be rude", her mother replies quickly, „Not everyone from the capital is the same." „The forced Papà to go to heaven!" Noa shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He has never been to any of the regions close to the Shen border and didn't even know much about them before planning his trip. „Excuse her words", the woman says turning to Noa, „the people here in this region have been...forgotten by the royal family. We didn't get help during the year of misfortune or after the war with Shen. They only cared when they needed soldiers for the war in the south and ripped apart every single family." She looks up at Noa. „No-one returned and you can imagine how life has been going ever since then. But", she claps in her hands and smiles eyeing everyone on the table, „we are grateful for everything we have and for nice people that help us, people that protect our family", she is looking at Noa as she says this. „People that not only help us, but also show us that not everyone in the capital is like the royal family and their salaried, isn't that right?" A forced smile and a nod is all Noa is able to provide as a reply. And the Stew suddenly tastes a little bitter or maybe that's the uncomfortable feeling creeping up his throat.