Tiny Frog ||Stucky Fanfiction||

36

(Steve POV) 

"I've got him, Sam," I speak into the little radios we brought in case we got separated somehow. I pull Bucky into my arms and hold him close, trying to soothe him and get him to stop shaking. "It's okay, you're okay. We're going home now." 

I help him stand up and put his arm over my shoulder, propping him up against me as we walk slowly out of the room. As we pass Rumlow's body, he stops to stare at it. 

"He's dead," I assure him. "For real, this time. He's not coming back to hurt you." 

He doesn't say anything in response to this, he just keeps walking. 

Sam meets us halfway down the hallway. "What's the damage?" 

"I think he's okay," I answer when Bucky doesn't. "He recognizes me, at least. He was talking, but isn't now." 

Sam moves to Bucky's other side and ducks under his arm. At this point, we're practically dragging him along. 

"You tired, man?" he asks, looking at Bucky with a kind of tenderness I didn't think he could ever be capable of. They used to hate each other so much. 

Bucky nods sluggishly, as if the weight of the world has come to rest upon his head. 

We carry him out to the car and lay him across the backseat. Sam gets in the driver's seat, pulling his goggles off, and I get into the passenger seat. As he starts the car, I open the glove compartment and take out my cell phone. 

"I'm calling Tony," I explain, waiting patiently for him to pick up. 

"We haven't found anything yet, Steve," is the first thing he says upon answering the call. "I'm sorry." 

"No, you don't need to, I already found him. I know you told me to stay home and let you guys handle it, but I just couldn't." 

There's silence on the other end. I wonder briefly if I've lost connection until he speaks again. 

"Is he... himself?" 

I can't say 'I think so.' I need to sound like I'm positive of the fact. "Yes. Yeah, he's himself. We're taking him home, now." 

"We?" 

"Sam's with me. Say hi, Sam." I hold the phone closer to Sam.

"Hi, Tony," he says, not sparing me a glance. 

I bring my phone back to my ear even though it's on speaker. "I'll tell you all about it later, Tony. Right now, we've got a really long drive ahead of us." He doesn't necessarily need to know I'm not driving. I'm just not up for talking about this right now. 

"...Why?" 

"Oh, we're in New York." 

"Just come to the tower, Rogers. Your floor is still here- you can rest there and not be disturbed. And then you can do the four hour drive later." 

---

I carry Bucky into the Avengers Tower, as he's already passed out by the time we get there. Sam walks ahead of us, opening doors and pressing elevator buttons. When we get to my floor- which Tony keeps available even though I don't live here- Tony is there waiting for us. 

"Oh, wow!" he exclaims, seeing my suit. "Been a while since I've seen you in that get-up." 

"Been a while since I've needed it," I return. 

"I wear my suit all the time," Sam brags. "Except now, I'm gonna take it off because I need a shower." 

He leaves the main area of my floor in favor of the bathroom. 

"Do you need anything?" Tony asks. "Does he need anything?" 

"No, but thank you... for letting us come here." 

"The Tower's always gonna be here if you need it." With that, he leaves us. 

I take Bucky into the bedroom and leave him on the bed while I start a bath in the adjoining bathroom.

He's awake again when the tub is full. 

"Hey," I say softly. "Let's take a bath, yeah?" 

It's a quiet ordeal. He still doesn't have anything to say, which is fine. He doesn't need to say anything. He's more interested in his reflection than whatever I'm saying to fill the silence. He barely flinches when I wash the open wounds on his back. 

It's hard to tell what he's thinking. He's so closed off nowadays. 

"Who are you right now?" I whisper. 

He sighs, refusing to look at me. "I don't know." 

"You don't know?" I don't know either. Usually, I can tell. Usually, there's a very clear divide between the two of them. 

"We've begun to blur, I think." He grimaces at the idea, then turns to look at me. "Can we talk about it later? I'm tired." 

--- 

I stay awake while he sleeps. I haven't slept at all in the last few days, but that's okay. 

I wonder what he meant when he said that he and the Winter Soldier had begun to blur. Are they now coexisting at the same time, rather than taking turns being in control? Or was it just a lie? 

Did HYDRA manage to completely wipe Bucky out, and now the Soldier is pretending that he's still there as a way to bargain for his life? It wouldn't be too far-fetched. The Soldier's facade of being a real person has gotten better. Sometimes, he even manages to act normal. 

I won't let him fool me. I won't let HYDRA take over our lives again. 

I retrieve the gun in my bag that I'd stolen off a HYDRA agent. I'm going to keep a promise I'd refused to make, and I'll honor Bucky's last conscious decision. 

"I'm sorry," I murmur as I point the gun at my friend's sleeping form. "I couldn't protect you." 

As I pull the hammer back, there's a brief knock and then the door opens. 

"Hey, do you-" Tony announces his presence. "What the fuck?" 

I look at him, then at the gun, then back at him, the insanity of what I'm doing finally catching up with me. 

Tony approaches me cautiously, reaching for the gun. I readily give it up.

"What's going on?" he asks, quietly so as to not wake Bucky. 

I look down, ashamed. "I haven't been sleeping. That's all. I'm just tired." 

I can't tell him the truth; I'll lose Bucky forever. 

He nods, but clearly doesn't believe me. "Okay. You should go to sleep, then. But not in here." 

"No, I'm fine to be around him. I just- I got confused, okay?" 

"Okay." He holds up the gun. "I'm taking this. And... This." He grabs the bag with the shield, too, then backs out of the room and leaves the door open. 

I need to sleep. That's all. I would never even consider hurting Bucky if I was in a healthy mindset. 

So I crawl into bed next to him and place my hand over his beating heart, reassuring myself that he has one. 

"You shoulda just shot me," he mumbles, holding his hand on top of mine. 

"I love you too much to do that." 

(I'm really really sick and I have been for a week and so far I am not getting better. So if this, like, really sucks, let's blame it on how foggy I'm feeling)