The Optimum Project

Chapter 33

Thoughts on the future

I collapsed on my bed, exhausted from the day's events. My father and Sarah's mom and stepfather had immediately hit it off, her stepdad, John, being a merchant who was looking to expand his market to other, farther away systems; and her mother, June, a manufacturing engineer, who helped John manage his production plants. After Sarah and I had introduced each other to our parents, they had immediately began talking business; my father clearly itching to go back out into the open void that is space.

Sarah and I found a quiet spot in the atrium of the station and sat down on a somewhat secluded bench, surrounded by daisies and other plants that produced large quantities of oxygen, making it just a little easier for the CO2 scrubbers to work. We sat there, not really talking but enjoying each others presence, the silence occasional broken for me by toms quips about my hormone levels.

Sarah finally turned to me, " what are you going to do? When we're done I mean?"

I paused, the question blindsiding me, and from tom's silence him too.
"Umm..." I thought about it, "done with training? Or done with my service?"

"Your training," the answer flashed out of her mouth like a whip, smacking me across the face.

I turned to her, realizing what this was really about, "this isn't about what I'm going to do is it?"

My question was met with silence so I answered it myself, "it's about what we're going to do, us I mean."

She nodded quietly, and I pulled her close, snapping at Tom to stop with the hormone quips and give us some time somewhat alone.
I took a deep breath and thought of a response, "I'm up for anything," I was met with more silence so I continued, "I'm up for everything, I'm up for defecting, up for sneaking around to meet up, I'm up for purposely being demoted, up for working until I'm promoted; I'm up for anything as long as I'll get to be with you."

I turned to her and found she was crying, tears in her eyes; I tightened my hold on her and rested my chin on the top of her head, just sitting there, providing support by my presence.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My eyes snapped open, I had fallen asleep. I sat up and checked the time; 4 am, way to early for me normally. I sighed and got dressed, walking down the hall to the elevator.

"You are troubled," this was Tom
"No not really... Just pondering the workings of the universe."

I knew he knew I was lying, truth was I really was troubled; I didn't know what to do anymore... Everything seemed so easy when I was with my father, but now?

I walked out of the elevator and into the mess hall, which was mostly empty save for a few traders looking for an early start, I grabbed a tray of food and sat alone in the back. I sighed and chatted with Tom a bit, learning more and more about how he works until my father walked in two hours later.

He had a certain sadness in his eyes, even though he had worked out a very good deal with Sarah's stepdad, John. I knew it was because I was leaving, headed back for the next phase of my training. I stood up and gave him a solid hug, and he returned the gesture.

Taking a deep breath he said, "so..."
The pause seemed to turn it into a question, so I answered it like one, " I have to go back to training," I sat back down on the bench for the table and made room for him before continuing, "it's not like I have a choice in the matter, I'm wearing their property, and it can't be removed without permanent damage to my arm and mind." He nodded, I knew he had been walked through it before by an engineer, which was why he hadn't flipped out when he had seen my tattoo on my wrist.

"I still don't like it." He sighed

"And you think I do?" This flashed out of my mouth of its own accord, anger making the words harsh, I immediately regretted it. I got up, "I'm sorry, I need to go pack, we leave soon." A lie, we didn't leave for another four hours.

He nodded and gave me another hug, "I love you son," the words were like missiles, exploding into my gut.

I squeezed, "I love you too dad,"