I break the silence with my voice, and everyone turns 'round
To see the source of all the noise, and here I stand
It's not as though I mean to upset you with the things I say and do
I should know better, but I said so anyway
It's easier to play a part and read your lines
Than freely speak what's in your heart and in your mind
Is it me who says these things that so offend you, inappropriate and loud?
I'd say I'm sorry, but it's hard to speak with both feet in my mouth
All hail the king of dunces
You best hold on, I'm opening up my mouth
Bring out the maypole, and tie me up, and shut me out
Devil knows what possessed me to shoot my arrow straight into the sky
String me to the mast, and hoist me up, and hang me high
I put no blame on you
I brought this all upon myself
It's just this thing I do
At times like this, I wish I was someone else
There's a lever inside my head between my mouth and my brain
Keeps me from hearing what I've said 'til it's too late, now it's too late
Smear my lips with Vaseline 'cause I'm a vocal libertine
I try explaining, but then even I'm not quite sure what I mean
All hail the king of dunces
You best hold on, I'm opening up my mouth
Bring out the maypole, and tie me up, and shut me out
Devil knows what possessed me to shoot my arrow straight into the sky
String me to the mast, and hoist me up, and hang me high
I put no blame on you
I brought this all upon myself
It's just this thing I do
At times like this, I wish I was someone else
I don't know what to say, I was only trying to make you smile
And bring some needed levity to your world for awhile
I never meant to make you cry, but I did it all by myself
It's just this thing I do, at times like this, I wish I was someone else
All hail the king of dunces
You best hold on, I'm opening up my mouth
Bring out the maypole, and tie me up, and shut me out
Devil knows what possessed me to shoot my arrow straight into the sky
String me to the mast, and hoist me up, and hang me high
All hail the king of fools
The boy's been bad, let's keep him after school
Send me to the blackboard, and write a hundred times, "I am the dunce"
Devil knows what possessed me to shut my mind and open up my mouth
String me to the anchor and watch me drown in myself
