Practice

Part 3

The next evening

Yuuri sighed, throwing the baseball. He was outside with his godfather, playing a nightly round of catch. Normally it was a fun bonding activity between the two of them, but Yuuri was finding it hard to concentrate. His mind kept wandering back to the previous two nights.

"Your Majesty, it seems like something is on you mind?" Conrart asked. He had a warm smile on his face as he caught the ball.

"Conrad, call me Yuuri! You're the one who gave me my name after all," Yuuri said. "And yeah, I guess there is..."

"Would you like to talk about it Yuuri?" He tossed the ball back to him.

"Um..." The answer was yes, but Yuuri thought it might be too awkward to approach the subject. Especially since this was about Conrad's younger brother. He figured that some part of Conrad would always manage to see Wolfram as a baby. Yuuri had gotten enough babying from his own overprotective brother to be quite sure of that.

Fighting the urge to run, Yuuri blurted out the words as fast as he could.

"Let's say you had this good friend, who's um a guy and—and the two of you ended up um doing something that made you wonder if you were really only just friends." Yuuri's face was red and he wanted to smack himself. Could he be any more obvious? He weakly threw the ball back.

Conrad's knowing smile made Yuuri want to squirm a little.

"Hmm, I'd start by asking myself if my feelings for him were only ever friendship. Did these feelings only start now? Or were they there before?" Conrart returned the baseball. "Then I'd ask myself if it actually matters whether or not he's a guy."

Yuuri quietly ruminated over what Conrad said.

He thought back to Wolfram's expression the other night, when Yuuri tried to pretend that what they were doing was normal for friends. He didn't entirely understand why he suddenly felt the need to kiss him, to make him smile, and to tell him that he was beautiful. He just wanted him to know...

That he was important to him. That he could always count on Wolfram to be a trusted partner to him. Whether they were sneaking out on adventures, getting mixed up with bearbees, or even co-parenting together. That he felt happy when he was by his side. Because Wolfram was precious to him.

Something affectionate and familiar stirred within his chest. He felt like he was getting closer to reaching an understanding.

And as for them both being guys... to be honest, Yuuri sometimes tried to play up his feelings about that and pretended like it mattered to him more than it really did. He used it as a quick shorthand for protests or confusion. When he was freaking out about an accidental engagement or shocked from finding an unexpected visitor in his bed, it was an easy answer to fall back on to not explain himself further.

It wasn't something that Yuuri had ever admitted to himself before. But...

Wolf being a guy had never stopped Yuuri from warmly spending time with him or secretively eyeing him up. In fact, it was because he was a guy that Yuuri sometimes felt that way.

He liked the fact that Wolfram von Bielefeld was male. And admitting that to himself was huge.

As Yuuri stood in silence, Conrart looked over him thoughtfully.

"I wanted to ask you something Yuuri. You do know that as long as you and Wolfram don't stay in the same room, the two of you don't have to go through that book, right?"

Yuuri turned scarlet.

"Y-Yeah, of course I know that!" He was telling the truth. Yuuri knew that there was an easy solution to the problem of the upcoming heat cycle, if they wanted to take that route.