chapter ten**

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BROOKLYN BABY - LANA DEL REY

I get back to Tannyhill and go up to Sarah's room. "Girl it's been like forever! How have we gone like 2 days barely talking?" "No idea but I don't like it" I say. "At college we're not gonna spend a second apart" she says, and my throat tightens. "Totally" I reply not wanting to get into a whole big thing about not being able to afford college.

"Okay girl we gotta go! It's prime shopping time right now so the good stuff might get taken". "You're so right" I laugh. "What if you only buy one gucci belt instead of two because there's not enough left?!" "Okay little miss walmart don't act like you don't love it when I sugar mama you" she says as we walk downstairs. "I only like sugar daddies" I reply, specifically the one standing right in front of me. Rafe and Kelce are sitting at the kitchen counter as we walk down the stairs.

"What was that about a sugar daddy?" Kelce asks mockingly. "Ella's gonna find a sugar daddy, ditch us all, and move somewhere tropical" Sarah says. "Not at all what I was saying, but I'm totally down" I say. "We should go shopping for my new sugar daddy instead" I joke. "Y'all are seriously going shopping?" Rafe asks. His condescending voice sending shivers up my spine. I haven't heard him speak since the car this morning. "Yes Rafe we are" Sarah says rolling her eyes. "Ella make sure we don't buy Rafe a Christmas present".

"Oh shit" Kelce says. "Rafe bro I need to buy Christmas presents too". "Yeah I guess I don't have one for everyone" Rafe replies. "Come on girls we're taking the range rover" he says, spinning the keys on his finger. I eagerly follow Rafe, desperate to get even an accidental touch from him but Sarah protests. "Um, we never agreed to go with y'all". "Seriously Sarah get your whiny ass in the car" Rafe says rolling his eyes. "Yeah Sarah you know how stupid your brother is he probably needs your help" I say making flirty eye contact with Rafe. "Pretty pleaseee Sarah" Kelce whines. "I'll help you shop for Topper". "Ugh okay fine" she says and we all head out to the car.

Rafe drives with Kelce in the passenger seat and I can't help but zone out and think about what happened in that car earlier and replaying the whole thing a second time in my mind. Did Rafe have to clean up a huge mess? Is he thinking about earlier too? Why do I wish I was in the passenger seat with his hand on my thigh? What the fuck am I feeling?

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RAFE'S POV

Why the fuck is Ella in my head? I never am this affected with the other girls. We've fucked like twice and yet I crave her the way I crave the coke Barry gives me at parties. She obviously wasn't as experienced as me, but the way she made me feel when I was inside her was a feeling I wanted to chase. So yeah I made up some bullshit excuse to go shopping with her and Sarah. Who knows, maybe we can do a quick one in a public bathroom or something.

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ELLAS POV

We drive up to some fancy ass town an hour or so away and Sarah is absolutely pumped. She can literally shop til she drops, and we used to do this all the time so by now I'm used to her 'shopping spazzies' as she affectionately calls them.

"Dude why's your sister more crazy right now than when she's drunk?" Kelce asks Rafe. "Bro I don't know but she always does this". "You don't know about the 'shopping spazzies'?!" Sarah asks. "Ugh Sarah that gives me the ick so bad, please don't say that" I complain. "Whatever Ella. Let's go spend some money!"

We go into a couple stores without me really finding anything when we walk past a surf shop. I stare at it longingly, feeling at home just by looking at its display through the window. I debate whether or not I should ask Sarah if we can go in before saying "I'm going in here Sarah" deciding I don't need to ask her and can do whatever I want. "Ooh cute! But I wanna go to Sephora. Kelce you come with me and Rafe you stay with Ella"she calls out from up ahead. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" I ask. "You afraid of me Routledge ?" Rafe whispers, licking his lips. I realize this is the first thing he's said to me this whole time. "Just afraid of what's gonna happen when you see me in a bikini for the first time in 2 months" I whisper back. "Great idea Sarah! We'll meet up in an hour!" he shouts back with the most enthusiasm I've ever heard from him.

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