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it's been 9 years of praying and wishing and working to get to the grammys
now i'm here, and i feel like im going to throw up
my dress is to tight, my hair isn't good enough..im not good enough
sometimes im off the rails but this feels different
the lights are just so bright and i feel small
my head starts to throb and so i tell my manager that im going to the bathroom
i try to be calm walking down the halls but i feel like my chest is collapsing
the hallway looks thinner and thinner
i finally find the bathroom and push through the door
since this bathroom is hella bougie it has individual rooms with sinks so i go in one and slam the door
i can't keep it together and sink too the floor
this is not how this was supposed to go but here we are...
suddenly i hear foot steps and then a voice and a knock on the door
"um... im not trying to be intrusive, aw fuck that yes i am. i can hear you crying, let me in?"
i stay silent
"babe please let me in i don't feel like busting this door down"
i slowly find my way to my feet wobbling on my heals and grasp the door nob
i pull it open tears flowing freely from my eyes
the girl in front of me is blurry because of all the crying
"oh shit you're really crying"
she shuts the door behind herself and locks it
that makes me nervous and she notices
"i promise im not gonna hurt you i can tell you're freaking out, i just locked it so no one else comes in ok?"
i nod gently
"ok good" she says
"um well since we don't know each other i think i'll introduce myself" she says as if she trying to spark any conversation to get my mind off of my tears
"im.. aubrey" i choke out
she smiles
"cute, im billie"
wait WHAT. she is WHO
i wipe my eyes and reveal the girl in front of me
BILLIE FUCKING EILISH
what the fuck. i think this might make me cry more
she seems to notice the look on my face
"hey hey? what's wrong"
i look at her before saying "no um noting im just thinking.."
sure as hell i was thinking
billie has been my celebrity crush since she released ocean eyes with finneas
and now she of all people is comforting me on the floor of a bathroom
"a and b our names could make a blood type" i blurt out "wait is that a blood type?"
"sorry" why the fuck did i say all of that A BLOOD TYPE
"yes it is a blood type and don't say sorry" she smirks
i blush and pray she doesn't notice
why do i want her to never stop looking at me like that...
... authors note💗
heyyyy this is one of my first full books I really hope you enjoy it and let me know if you have any suggestions! ilyyy(;
