Phoebe Bridgers- Love Affair

2. Night Club and Drunk feels

Y/n POV-

Two nights had passed since you sat upon her bed, listening to Phoebe reveal the information about her boyfriend.

Your pregame music blasted through your speakers as you applied your makeup with a careful touch. The tight black pants and enticing tank top complement your figure most fascinatingly, hoping it may catch the attention of people in the clubs... or someone.

You drove yourself to the street where the club you and Phoebe would meet at was. Youth people were scattered around the place, creating a young inviting environment. You slipped out of the car door, locking it quickly and strutting into the venue, with eyes following your presence from all around.

You felt confident for once in your life; maybe because you had sipped a little too much alcohol to get you started for the night.

You entered the building, lights flashing, music vibing, and bodies grinding against each other. The beat of the song flowed through you like a wave of dopamine, spreading to each part of your senses. You didn't even think of messaging Phoebe, you walked over to the bar and demanded two shots. Tonight, you wanted to let go of everything that had been holding you down for the past years. Once you had down the drinks with little reaction, you found your body drifting towards the dance floor.

In that moment of dance, the vibrations of the music became a part of your energy, raising you up several levels all at once. As you swayed your hips with strangers around, you understood that dancing was another way to speak, to let the body talk.

The music moves you like I'm a puppet on strings, your head mashing so hard your brain is in shutdown mode. There's so much sweat on your skin and not all of it's yours.

In the club the good vibes flow like a virus, but a good one. There's love in the air, all hyped up and ready to give you a good time. The joy is like a shot of adrenaline to the heart and all at once you're moving, one with the music, one with every crazy person dancing in this place.

The night seemed to lose time, you had forgotten all about why you were at the clubs right now... until a pair of hands reached around your waist and a body pressed against you from the back. You took in their scent, immediately becoming intoxicated by it, the familiar butterflies arising from their sleeping place in your stomach.

You had multiple drinks, switching off the best parts of your brain and leaving the fool to run your life, to run your mouth. You leaned back into her, letting the mix of the compelling music and overwhelming alcohol take control of your being.

"Phoebe..." you breathed out as her hands roam a little over your torso.

Although you always danced together at the clubs, this felt slightly more sensual than usual; but maybe this was your drunk state speaking.

"You look good tonight," She whispered into your ear.

Shivers ran down your spine as you turned around to face her in the dim flashing lights. She looked pure and angel-like. Her hands stayed upon your hips as you continued to sway your hips. Her eyes beamed in the light, almost like she was admiring you.

You couldn't pull your gaze away, as much as you tried. Her hair was slightly messy from the crowd's humidity and her body was breathless as you both let the music take control of your senses.

You couldn't tell if was your delusional conscious or if she was moving closer to you, pressing her body against yours.

In this moment, everything seemed to move just a little bit slower, the lights falling upon Phoebe as you both smirked at each other.

Although the scene felt so real, you knew somewhere deep within you, that you both were just two friends reconnecting and having fun once more.

Within seconds, your fight or flight responses kicked in, knowing that you had to remove yourself from the situation before it escalated.

You gained control of your legs, before quickly slipping through the crowd and out the door. Your head was pounding from the loud music and alcohol-infused blood in your system. The streets were just as crowded as the club, bodies shuffling together.

"Y/n! Hey, what's wrong?" Phoebe rushed out of the club, her security guard trailing secretly behind her.

Your heart pumped out of your chest. The anxiety was like being hooked up to a cattle fence - not enough voltage to kill but sufficient to keep things uncomfortable. You were all amped up with no escape.

"Yeah, just a lot of people" You lied, fearing she may declassify it.

"Alright, do you need anything? Water?" Phoebe gripped your shoulders.

Her. you needed her.

"No, I'm okay. I just uh- I'm tired." You reached into your purse, digging around for your keys.

"You're not driving home, you've drunk too much tonight." Phoebe eyed her security and he came to grab your arm to support your weight.

As he helped you, people began recognizing Phoebe. You watched as girls pointed to their friends and others slipped photos of the artist, your best friend.

Her security guard recognized these habits and immediately took the lead, directing the two of you into her black vehicle.

He placed you into the car, your head falling back onto the rest. The liquor had hit you in full force as you sat quietly, Phoebe sliding in next to you.

The ride was almost silent, the only sound was the traffic on the roads. But silence however was a short-lived glory...

"Y/n?" You heard Phoebe whisper, only loud enough to be heard in the space between.

You turned to glance at her, your body completely limp from your intoxication.

"Are you sure you don't want to come back to my apartment? You're drunk," She stroked your hair in a soothing and comforting manner.

The feeling of her fingers running gently through your hair made you feel the same way the start of the song 'Rosyln' would make any sane person feel.

"No, I just need to go home," you closed your eyes, remembering the feeling of her hands on your hips and her breath on your neck; it felt so good yet so dirty.

Soon enough you had arrived home, safely making it onto your bed. You were relieved to have escaped the captivating presence of the woman you secretly loved so dearly.

Although your body was tired, your mind seemed to be very much alive. Your thoughts flying a million thoughts per second.

You couldn't help but find your mind drifted back to her. All these emotions brought up many complicated thoughts:

You know that being in love can be painful if you aren't sure that the love is mirrored the same way in the one you love. The pain comes from fear and the need to feel loved, nurtured, and protected by her.

This love you held for Phoebe was broken and painful. What you call painful love is not love at all, it is a taker and a giver, the giver as the bucket of water and the taker poking new holes in the vessel, quenching their thirst.

These thoughts consumed you until you eventually drifted into a deep, restless sleep. One that you hoped to never awaken from.