Vulnerability-minsung

1

It won't stop, why wont this stop? I'm weak and useless I don't want chan to see me but I'm longing for him....chan hyung please come Im so desperate..

"H-hey Minho it's okay, you're okay..look at me buddy, come on my eyes are up here min.." chans eyes were met with glossy ones. The poor boy had a panic attack and only wanted his hyung. He would hate to show this side of him to others.

He hated being vulnerable, he hated being weak.

It broke chans heart to see one of his best friends in a state like this.

"Hey it's okay I'm here now nobody will hurt you it's only us in here, alright?" Chan said

"Y-yea.." minho responded barely audible. Since he was still recovering from the recent shock chan was asking him to take some deep breaths with him.

"Deep breath in....and deep breath out...and again, deep breath in...deep breath out..come on min your doing great so far," chan praised him as he had certainly gotten better at these things.

"Thanks ch-chan hyung.." he mumbled quietly. Though he could trust chan with his life it didn't mean he hated being vulnerable towards him that's
why they rarely see these things as friends.

"Minho you've been having these more lately anything going on?" Chan cautiously asked the now less trembling boy.

"It's nothing hyung.." he replied bluntly.
Inside chan knew something was happening but no matter how long or when Minho would always open up...when he wants to, which normally takes about a year and a half.

"Should we go to the library or go to class? Where'd you wanna go min?" Chan asked gently.

"Rooftop please," he responded.

"Rooftop it is," chan sighed in relief. Although he knew Minho would make it out of his panic pit he still had the right to worry.

Once the two had gotten to the rooftop they sat down near the edge. Not to close of course but close enough to enjoy the view. Little things like this always has a way of getting to Minho, seeing the sunset, that warm breeze hitting you, finally being calm and normal and most importantly with his favourite person.

No the two boys didn't like eachother more than best friends but they were extremely close. I mean Minhos only friend is chan. Although his hyung has many friends minho is his favourite.

Once minho had gotten home he took off his shoes and dashed to his bedroom, if only he wasn't stopped he would be in bed cuddling with his cats. But someone had to stop him.

"M-Minho.." a fragile and cracking voice called out.

"Y-yes mom?" Minho responded tears already glistening in his eyes.

"What h-have I done w-wrong? Where d-did I go wrong a-as a parent? I-I love you Minho.."

"N-no you don't mom, y-you you would've loved me e-even when I s-said I was g-gay!" Minho cried aloud.

"H-honey we have t-to send him to the ch-church! I cant live with m-my my son like this!" Minhos mother shouted to her husband.

"Minho you're going to church next week.." his father said not even bothering to chat any longer.

Minho rushed upstairs to his room.

"Why, why, why I n-never did anything I-it hurts!"

They don't love you, they never will, chans using you, he's only helping you out of pity, you should just kill yourself already, nothing in life is going well, there's not gonna be some miracle is there?

Minhos thoughts were cut off by the sound of ringing. Oh it's just chan hyung he thought.

"Hello? Chan hyung??" Minho greeted.

"Hey give my phone back!" A faint voice came.

"He doesn't even like you Lee, in fact he hates hates you so much you're such a cry baby, nobody will ever like you!" A voice said from the other end of the line.

"Dont listen to them Minho! Please don't I beg of you.." the voice came again. It was chans..

"N-no no Chan is my friend!" The boy said and proceeded to hang up.

"W-what if it's true s-soonie he might not like me," he said to one of his cats once again sobbing.
He was responded with a meow. That somehow sounded comforting.

"I swear you know what I'm saying sometimes," Minho chuckled. Days like this were the worst to him. But the thing was this was every day and Minho was ashamed to have to stutter and sob every single second.

Maybe one day, one day he wouldn't be such a cry baby.

(Next day)

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN I HAVE TO IGNORE HIM?" Chan shouted towards the group of boys.

"Whoa whoa whoa there buddy no need to get aggressive, all that you have to do is ignore Lee and we won't spread all those rumours," one of the boys said raising there hands in the air as a form of defence.

"No I can't.." chan said eyes getting watery.

"We'll you have to or else I will tell everyone he was raped by his dad...or is still getting raped..every single Thursday.." one of the other boys mentioned.

"Okay, okay!" Chan cries "just d-dont hurt him he h-hates his dad" he says.

"It's all in the deal bang, he deserves to be miserable." The boy lowly chuckled.

(Lunch)

"Hey chan!" Minho called out to chan. Chan would normally wait for Minho on top of the roof but sometimes chan would get some lunch from the cafeteria.

To Minhos surprise chan sat in the centre of the cafeteria with a tray of salad and a bunch of girls surrounding him. He didn't even seem to care for the boy who stood frozen in place waiting for his friend to approach him.

But he didn't he ate his lunch silently, not sparing a glance. Eventually Minho gave up, his breath hitched as he walked down the hallway. Heading towards the empty classroom.