𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐔𝐃𝐆𝐄

𝐨𝐧𝐞

JAHI THOMAS

       Nobody knew what it was like to be me. My life had never been all cupcakes and rainbows. I was once a sweet little boy, but that sweetness was long gone.

   I had no one to blame but myself for my actions, yet I knew there was a reason behind them. They say your actions come with consequences, and I was living proof of that.

    I climbed up to the top shelf, retrieving my mom's depression medication. As I descended, my eyes met hers, her eyes fixed on the TV with an unblinking stare.

  She hadn't moved an inch, a familiar sight that tugged at my heart. I headed to the kitchen, grabbing  the toast I'd made for her, and returned to place it beside her pills on the  table in front of her. The silence was heavy, it was always like this though i wish there was more i could get out from her.

    I couldn't pinpoint when it started, but one day my mom's life began to unravel. She'd lost her job and descended into a dark spiral. Some days were better, others were devastating.

    Yet, I held onto hope, believing she'd slowly rebound. As I stood before her, I urged, "Mom, please take your pills." She ignored me, her eyes  blank.

  I stepped closer "Please, Mom, take your pills."  Still, no response. I glanced at my watch, aware I had to leave for campus soon. With a sigh, I placed a tender kiss on her cheek and fetched my bag from the floor.

     I hesitated, not wanting to leave her behind, but I had to. Hopefully, when I returned, she'd have taken her medication. I locked the door and headed to my Nissan Sentra, my car I'd worked tirelessly to afford.

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As I sat in traffic, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel, I stared at the students walking into Lincoln High. That place held a special kind of pain, one that still lingered in my heart.

I was scarred. My worst mistake was ever setting foot in that school – it almost cost me my life. I shook off the thoughts and hit the gas, navigating the streets until I arrived on campus.

I parked, locked up, and headed to my first period theatre class. As I entered, I dropped my bag and took a seat next to Damon. We exchanged a nod.

  I tried to keep people at a distance, not because I didn't like them, but because I didn't need them. High school had taught me that.

Back then, I was the kid with few friends, but as I grew older, people began to notice me - bitches wanted to talk to me, and niggas wanted to be my friends.

I wasn't having any of that. I wasn't about to be someone's trend, only worth noticing once I'd "glowed up." If they didn't fuck with me from the start, then they didn't deserve to fuck with me, period.