Little touch of heaven

008

I couldn't sleep, not after today. In the ten hours I've been in bed I must have woken up six times. Not for that long each time, but enough to break my sleep into un-refreshing chunks. With every disturbance, there is a new nightmare. I wasn't sure if the memories were the cause or if I was just angry-possibly even ashamed-at myself.

I gazed at the ceiling, attempting to gather my thoughts and find some peace. This anger has been there for a while; it escapes when I'm with people I care about and is directed towards my fans, store owners, and even myself if my outfit doesn't turn out how I want it to. It was useless for me to try to get a good night's sleep.

I staggered across my room and headed for the restroom. I scowled at my reflection in the mirror. My eye bags were like scars, sinking into my skin. Something is screaming inside of me, telling me to stop being friends with people because that way I won't have to put my trust in anyone and it will be safer and simpler to decide not to stay. I am aware that I am concealing from myself the reality of how much of this is related to melancholy and unhealing scars. And I know I'm hiding a truth from myself, of how much this has to do with sadness and the scars that just won't heal. I can't tell them the truth.

I swallow my fear to expand the safe zone of others, to become the stoic friend they deserve.

Deep breaths Angel.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I woke up with a strange sensation in my stomach. I got enough sleep the night before, and after my and Angel's conversation, I feel like we've gotten closer. When I consider it, the reason he enjoys cosplaying bothers me; after his previous relationship, he needed a means of finding happiness. Positively, though, he discovered a new hobby and something he truly enjoys. I messaged him once I got home, asking if he was alright, but he didn't respond.

A part of me did feel like I saw a side to Angel that I had never seen before, so broken and upset. I wanted to ask him more about it, what if he always feels this upset?

Checking my phone, I immediately opened my messages before Instagram. It wasn't that much of a difference, but I guess I don't need to go there first thing in the morning. To my surprise, I had a message from Alex.

Alex ☺️: Wanna come to Forsford with me tomorrow? I CAN SHOW YOU SOME NICE SHOPS

I was ecstatic to see her again. Me and Alex had been messaging each other almost every day. I speak to her more than I speak to Angel. I smiled to myself, remembering how nervous I was when I first hung out with her to how I could speak to her any time about anything. I quickly typed up a response

Ariella: SURE!

Once I sent my response, the memories of yesterday once again flooded into my head. I couldn't shake the feeling that he was afraid of something, but I didn't know what. I never want to see Angel looking that way again.

Eventually, I brushed it off like always and continued to check for any more messages. Right on command, Angel had replied to the message I sent him last night. Just before I could get excited, the realisation of his response hit me.

Angel: I'm alright! Did you enjoy the con yesterday? I'm happy I got to spend more time with you

The fact that he avoided my question and immediately changed the subject only proved my suspicions even more. There was more to Angel than what meets the eye.

In the cafe, me and Alex sit, my friend and I, ranting about our problems and giving each other updates on our life. We are each other's best doctor and medicine combined. It's early and the machines are already so warm, so I pondered whether or not to continue sitting down and drink in the aroma of this place.

Alex has tired eyes, yet there is that glimmer, a giveaway of her good heart. She's one of those surviving sparks, one of the ones who held on to who they are. I asked her why she was showing up so regularly, giggling amid my tired smile, "Trust me, after working here all my life I'm getting sick of it already"

I see her spark glow a little brighter, her face more relaxed, a smidge more joy in her eyes, "I get to see my BEST. FRIEND." She ruffles my head and beams at me.

I laugh unexpectedly, and I know that I'm feeling that tiny bit better too, "Thanks. I needed that."

She suddenly looked confused, "Why? Omg did something happen at that con you went to?" Her full attention was on me now.

I avoided her gaze, hesitant whether or not to tell her about Angel. I didn't think it was my place to. "Well.." I trailed off, "One of my friends-"

"Angel?" Alex quickly interjected.

When did I ever mention his name? Maybe she saw my Instagram post? I decided to lie and make up a random name on the spot because I wasn't about to disclose Angel's privacy like that.

"Yep! You know how sometimes you meet someone that's always so kind and thoughtful, that you start to wonder if.... I can't explain it." I ended with a sigh

"Like, as if they're putting up a front? They're not happy?" Alex attempted to finish off for me.

" Like they're pretending to be happy because they're hiding something." I continued, "I dunno, I'm just kinda getting worried about them. Hiding something in can only make you feel worse." I concluded. I had no idea if I explained that properly, but finally letting it out felt like a huge weight had been taken off my shoulders.

"I think," Alex glanced at the window "People sometimes take time to open up to new friends- so don't think they don't want to be your friend Ari!!" She pointed her finger at my face, before moving an inch closer to make it touch my nose.

I smiled at her response. It filled me with hope and gratitude. We continued our conversation, speaking about our plans for tomorrow and what places we were going to go.

"I have to go now," a frown formed on her lips "But I'll see you tomorrow at the train station!" She yelled before skipping away out of the doors

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The market blooms upon the street as if flowers spring from the concrete. The sun that day was a brilliant sight, casting the everyday hues of the marketplace into vivid glows, the kind that make the best of dreams. Honestly from the look of things here, I was beginning to feel a bit jealous of Angel. It's a lot better than Veritas that's for sure.

Alex took me to a park as the afternoon was coming to an end so I could enjoy the warmth of the sun. She trailed off, saying, "You know, I grew up in this park before I moved out to a different city.". She focused intently on the trees and dilapidated playgrounds. I should have probably considered what I was going to say before speaking, but instead, I just blurted it out.

"Do you ever miss here?"

Alex turned, but too slowly to be normal. When she spoke her voice trailed slowly, like her words were unwilling to come out. There was a sadness in her eyes, the brown too glossy.

"When I was 16, I met one of my closest friends in high school at this park. Climbing trees, digging up rocks, having picnics together. Everything!" She shared it with me. Alex then stopped and took a seat on a bench, patting the space next to her as an invitation for me to come and sit down.

"Are you two both still friends?" I asked her

"No, we aren't sadly." She must've seen my shocked expression, "Oh but don't feel sad! It was my fault for breaking their trust." Alex chuckled lightly, keeping her head low towards the ground. I couldn't even wrap my head around Alex ever being mean to somebody, so I didn't. Instead, I attempted to lighten the mood a little bit.

"Well, that's okay because you have me now! And I'll stay right by your side!" I ended with an elbow on her shoulder. She quickly looked at me for a second and it wasn't long until we both erupted into a series of laughter.

A/N: 700 READS?? I'M SO HAPPY. I tried to make this chapter longer because I'm only gonna be updating on Fridays from now on. But I won't stop the story! Like I said I've planned out the next 20 chapters anyway. What do you guys think is bothering Angel? Is Ariellas overthinking too much? COMMENT AND VOTE!