"Is This My Confession?"

愛してます。

"Didn't give me time to say goodbye in the way I wanted to."
-Pigeon by Cavetown.

I loved them.
I did.
I wholeheartedly did.
And now my heart just aches in pain.
Drowning in the past, weeping in sorrow.
Drowning in salty tears, crying in grief.

I hugged my pillow everynight,
It's the only left of them that reminds me of us.
Now I even think it's best to burn the pillow.
Just over a pain that I felt in my chest.
No short conversation,
No interaction,
It's already like needles or even bullets going through my heart over and over, non-stop like a stupid cycle.
Like as if this pain will kill me in the end.

Is this love or obsession?
I don't know.
I can't tell.
I doubt they'd care.
I even doubt I'd make it through this night.
All I know is that I love them unconditionally.
But now, I just want to let go.
Why do I find beauty and happiness in something that will only last for such a short time?

Maybe I'm just delusional, right?
I should stop,
They're going to find me annoying eventually.
Finding out I've been crying like some tall child,
Makes me feel stupid at this rate.

"Sweet tooth for you, I'm wide awake.
The sugar went straight to my brain.
Feel like a kid, I double tap.
My chest at my fist,
I like you.
Say it back."
-Sweet tooth by Cavetown