"God Only Knows, for Martin and Juanjo" shit, shit, shit. It was not about Martin, (well it was a bit) but about the song. God Only Knows was a very cheesy love song, something that didn't come naturally to Juanjo. Expressing himself like that in front of the entire nation would be a huge challenge for him, because of his feelings towards the other boy and also the fact that he hadn't come out to his family before entering the academy. Working in such proximity with Martin would definitely "out" him in a way Juanjo wasn't comfortable with. So, what he needed to do before entering their first class was to talk to someone he felt even slightly comfortable talking to, Denna.
"Denna, could I talk to you for a moment?" Juanjo asked after all of the contestants had been given their songs for week 4. "Of course, where should we go?" she asked. They went to the terrace and Denna waited patiently while Juanjo tried to compose himself and prepare himself to open up slightly. He knew that they were being filmed and it didn't make any of this easier, because he didn't want to be exposed completely, but he couldn't wait until night-time when their dorm would open.
"So, I'm happy that I get to work with Martin this week but why we couldn't have been assigned any other type of a song together than a very cheesy love song? Or I could have gotten this song with someone else. It would have been so much easier than to work on this with him. He will not have any problems with this, won't he? He's such a good actor and he feels so comfortable doing all the flirting etc. " Juanjo confessed.
"Is it a problem for you to sing a song about love, or is the problem that you'll be performing a love story between two boys? Or is it just Martin? If the song would have been with Alvaro for example, would the two boys singing this song be such an issue for you?" she asked.
"Well, it feels a bit uncomfortable to me to sing such a romantic and intimate song, but I think that the biggest reason is him. I mean, if it were Alvaro or Alex or anyone else I would have to act nervous or something like that, but when it's him whom I have to do all of these romantic things with, it's suddenly way more real than it would be with anyone else," he confessed.
Denna looked at him, a knowing glint in her eye, and said "Honey, you really should talk to him about your feelings regarding this song and probably about your feelings in general so that you can work through this song together and make the most out of it. He's a very understanding boy as you know and if you let him, he will take good care of you". With that being said, Noemi came and asked them to come back inside to practice.
As they made their way back, Martin approached him. He looked like he had been crying, which concerned Juanjo.
"Martin, have you been crying?" he asked. The younger boy nodded, so he decided to take the boy to the showers so they could talk privately about it. They removed their microphones and sat down. Martin looked unsure, so Juanjo decided to take the lead in their conversation.
"I hope that you weren't crying because of me or my talk with Denna after the songs were assigned. I just needed to talk to her, because you know how hard this is going to be for me. Even before Gala 0, I told you that if we ever make it to the academy, I can't be publicly seen being all lovey-dovey with you even if I wanted to. I don't know how my family will react and even if I have accepted the fact that I like you, I can't go on and just show it openly and that is what you deserve. So this song and the performance, being all intense and romantic with you in front of everyone in here and the entire nation is going to be so hard for me and I can't even begin to think what it will be to you. " he said and locked eyes with the younger boy, who reached out to hold Juanjo's hand.
"I was crying, because I know how hard this week will be to you. I know that you're not out and coming out is not something you want to do during the competition, so I'm stressed because of that. We just have to keep it at a very professional level, acting right. Don't be this Juanjo who feels things he's not capable of saying out loud to everyone yet, be a character and so will I. It's probably the only way we can ever make this song something we can perform in under a week." he said.
After that, they sat next to each other holding hands for a while without saying anything, until they had to go to Abril's class.
